Polar Opposites

I realize I may look back on this post in the months to come and laugh my tuckus off, but as for right now Abbi and Keevia are complete and utter polar opposites.

Abrielle was SO active in utero, and now that she's out she is the calmest, quietest baby EVER. She cries when she's getting a diaper change (sometimes) and occasionally when some gas crosses her stomach... but other than that, she makes little whimper noises. Keevia screamed. Constantly. Our entire hour and a half car ride home from the hospital was a complete scream fest with Keevia, while Abrielle NEVER MADE A SOUND.

Keevia is super long waisted, with short(er) legs (and a honking huge head). Abrielle has a normal sized torso and looooooooooooong legs (and long fingers and long toes)(and a huge honking head).

I can put Abrielle in the bouncer awake, and she will fall asleep. To date, (I'm not even joking here people) excluding a very few rides in the swing, Keevia has fallen asleep outside of someones arms TWICE. Both of those times were watching TV. She did FINALLY learn how to fall asleep in the car after she hit 6 months, but those first 6 months had me singing to her, rocking the carseat... basically doing anything I could to get her to sleep.

Abrielle sleeps like her father (read: the dead), Keevia sleeps like me (read: any noise within a 1 mile radius can wake her up).

Keevia took a pacifier (voraciously) from day one. Abrielle will (sometimes) take one in the car, or in the middle of the night when she doesn't really want to nurse but has that need to suck.

Keevia nursed every hour to every hour and a half. Abrielle nurses every 2-3 hours (this may have something to do with the fact that I nurse them differently. I didn't ever do ten minutes on side A then switch to side B for the remainder of the feeding with Abbi. I offer one breast, let her nurse as long as she wants, burp her, then offer the second breast if she wants it. If not, I start the next feeding on the second breast. I had oversupply issues/milk imbalance issues with Keevia, and I think a good bit of the screaming she did was because of belly ache).

Keevia wouldn't let ANYONE but CLOSE family hold her from day 1. Abrielle could care less who has her as long as Mommy gets her back to nurse.

All in all, Abbi seems to just be a calmer baby. I've said numerous times in the (*SOB*) almost two weeks she has been here that I didn't realize how high maintenance of a baby Keevia was until I had Abbi. I could NEVER have considered laying Keevia in a bouncy seat and taking a shower, and with Abbi I would have zero qualms about it. And it's not just a second time mother thing, it's totally a child's temperament thing!

I can't wait to see how Abrielle grows and changes... like I said, I could be laughing in a few months!

Abbi's Birth Story

Abbi's birth story is a long one. Prodromal labor kind of indicates that, but hers was almost annoyingly so. Still, we got the best present at the end. :)

On Friday, February 24th, I went in for my 37/38 week appointment with my midwife. My blood pressure and weight were fine, and Abbi's heart beat and fundal height were measuring perfectly. Melissa (my midwife) checked my cervix. The previous week I had been a 3 and now I was a 4, 75% effaced and had "bulging waters". She asked if I wanted my membranes stripped, and I said yes. I know there's controversy about stripping membranes, but living almost two hours from the hospital, I usually choose to have it done so I'll at least be closer if I do go into labor. I started having stronger contractions (I was having contractions constantly, but they weren't strong enough to be considered active labor) almost immediately.

We shopped a little, then headed to the Winchester Wal-Mart. While walking around, I began to feel like I was leaking fluid. The contractions were every 4-7 minutes apart, and I continued leaking. I called Carl and told him to head to Lexington and we went to the hospital to be checked.

Initially I tested positive for broken membranes. However, the nurse checked the stuff on her gloves that was closer to my cervix and it tested negative, so she had me pee in a cup and my pee tested positive (meaning my urine was as alkaline as amniotic fluid normally is). However, I was still having the strongest contractions to date. She checked me again after an hour or so, and I had progressed from 4cms to 5cms. The first time she checked me she said that she didn't feel bulging waters, but the second time she checked me she said that she did. They gave me the option of going to my sisters house for a bit and coming back when I was more "in labor" (letting Carl sleep some and me eat something), or stay at the hospital. We chose to go to my sisters. They "reserved" the room (with the TUB!) for me for a few hours, because they just knew I'd be back in the wee hours of the morning.

We went back to my sisters, I ate a bowl of oatmeal and took a long shower. I then laid down to "try" and sleep.

I woke up several times throughout the night with contractions, but nothing regular. Mom said (because she slept with me) that she could hear my breathing change and get faster, and she assumed that was when I was having one. I woke up around 9-10 the next morning and was only having my very minimal contractions.

Both Carl and Melissa wanted me to walk around some before heading home, so Mom, Keevia and I went to the mall for a few hours. I never had much of any more leaking, and the contractions I had were my usual ones, with very few strong ones thrown in. We called it a day a few hours later and headed back to my sisters. We started packing up to go home, and I went to use the bathroom before we left.

Holy lots of bloody show, Batman.

We decided to stay another night. Carl went out and got a big exercise ball, and I spent the evening bouncing away. Nothing. Went to bed and got up the next morning...still nothing. We went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast, where I had more bloody show. Frustrated, we headed home.

We literally hit our hometowns city limits and I started having stronger contractions. I had strongish contractions all that evening and the next day. I called my midwife on Monday afternoon to ask about the continual bloody show I was having (it was mainly mucousy with streaks of blood), and she asked to see me on Tuesday instead of Friday (when my next appointment was).

So, Tuesday morning we got up and headed back to Lexington. We got to her office around 10am. Again, weight, blood pressure, fundal height and heartbeat were all perfect. I had progressed to 6cms and was 80%+ effaced. She said my cervix was SO super soft she didn't see how I hadn't had a baby.

We decided, that since I was already 6cms dilated, and my body was so ready, and I lived 2 hours away, that we would go ahead and break my water. I called Carl and told him to head our way, then we went out to grab something to eat and some fruit and snacks for the delivery room. We got to the hospital, got checked in, and started getting settled in the room. Unfortunately the tub room was occupied.

Carl didn't get there until after 2pm because of a double wide trailer that was PUT TOGETHER traveling down the mountain parkway. There was no way for him to pass. My midwife was super understanding though and said she'd come and break my water once he got there. She got held up herself, so my water wasn't broken until about 3:30-4.

Funny story. I didn't have much water to break. Like, at all. I barely wet a chuck, and it took several, several tries to break it. My Momma thinks that it actually did at least leak on Friday. I don't know. I know that either the breaking of the water, the cervical manipulation, or SOMETHING catapulted me into much harder labor. 

I had a super sweet nurse who put me on the monitors directly after my water was broken for about 20 minutes. She then came in and started talking to us about books and Kindles, and Nooks while I bounced away on the birthing ball. I began noticing I had to reaaaaally concentrate to get through a contraction. I really only wanted to be sitting on the toilet because I felt like I needed to pee constantly.

I don't think Mom or Carl either one really realized how fast the contractions were getting more painful. Mom was talking to someone on the phone and was talking about how they were getting "a little harder". I remember thinking "Umm...no....these freaking hurt..." and Carl was ordering a pizza (and asking me if I wanted any....). An hour after my water was broken, the nurse came in and monitored me again (just Abbi's heartbeat for 1 minute. LOVE THAT HOSPITAL). As soon as she was done, I stripped off and got in the shower.

The contractions were much more managable in the shower. I either sat on the chair in there, or stood with the water hitting my back. A week or so before I had watched this video that a doula friend of mine had posted on Facebook, and being very, very musical I decided to give it a try. I began singing any hymn I could think of. I sang "Just a Closer Walk With Thee", "Amazing Grace", my favorite "Come Thou Fount" and more. Literally anything that popped in my mind I started singing. And it worked. It worked very, very well. If I sang, I didn't notice the contraction as much. If I didn't sing it was muuuuuuuuuuuch harder to concentrate through it. I stayed in the shower for over an hour (the nurse came with a handheld doppler and checked me while I was in there!). I only got out because I was starting to get very, very hot, the contractions were beginning to come on top of one another, and I couldn't sing through them anymore. I was pretty sure I was in transition.

I got out and had them move the bed so that I could lean on my hands and knees. ALL of my pain was right over my bladder area, and it was agonizing. There for about 10 minutes I was having contractions on top of one another, and then they slacked off to about every 3 minutes. The pain at this point was almost unbearable. My Mom started pushing on my low back (even though I wasn't having back labor like last time) and the pressure or something made it bearable again. Funny thing was that my chiropractor (who had came in about this time) couldn't do it like Momma could. I was checked somewhere in here and was at a 8 or a 9. My midwife told me the way I was sitting might actually be putting MORE pressure on that area of my stomach, so I moved onto my left side. I tried to rest as best I could between contractions. Looking back, I think I was ready to push here, but I didn't really have a strong urge. I weathered several contractions on my left side, and finally started sobbing that I couldn't do it anymore. My midwife recommended that I start pushing and see if that helped.

Oh, sweet relief. If I pushed through a contraction the pain went away. They got things ready, and I started REALLY pushing. In about 2 pushes she was crowning and I began feeling the ring of fire. I started pushing steadily and gently (when the midwife told me to) and then around 2 big pushes later, she was out! I didn't have any ripping or tearing again!

They laid her on my chest and started cleaning her off. She was slightly reluctant to cry, but they got one out of her pretty quickly. Throughout the entire birth I didn't really have very much fluid at all come out.

Keevia was in the room the entire time. Mom says that when it started getting intense she handed K her iPhone and Keevia climbed up on the couch, with her back to me, and watched Blues Clues. Either right before I gave birth or right after, I started crying, and she got a little upset that Mommy was crying... So Mom picked her up, and she was fine. I remember her going "That's Baby Abbi!" as Abbi was laid on my chest.

We delayed cord clamping until the cord had stopped pulsing, and then we snuggled with Abbi a little longer. I delivered the placenta with no pitocin and it was MUCH more pleasant than when I delivered it with pitocin with Keevia.

Because she came SO quickly (about 4 hours after my water was broken) and in only 4-5 pushes, she was bruised to pieces. She had broken blood vessels in her eyes, bruising on her eyes, nose and forehead, and big bruises across her back. I'm a mean old Mommy. They took her and weighed and measured her, then brought her back and she latched right on to nurse. She nursed about four times in the next two hours.

All in all, it was a much less painful birth than Keevias. With K's birth I kind of hypnotized myself and was silent. I was much more vocal with this birth (I even asked for a C-Section when she was crowning), but I was able to be more aware. I was more vocal because I could BE more vocal. If I opened my eyes with K I started hyperventilating. I was able to reach down and feel Abbi's hair and head as she came out this time. I think a lot of my pain was from being ready to deliver, but she just hadn't dropped fully. When I started pushing, I dropped her myself. Melissa had told my Mom and Carl while I was in the shower that she could stretch my cervix to a 10 when she broke my water, it was THAT soft.

I don't regret them breaking my water at all. I went so quickly it would have been difficult for us to get to the hospital if it had broken at home (especially if I had dilated more before then!) and almost impossible for Carl to get there. I have a beautiful healthy baby, and I couldn't be happier. I honestly never felt like I had a baby at all. The only real pain I felt after birth was from my tailbone, I think I pushed it out a little.

So there it is. If you read it in its entirety you deserve a medal! Ha!

The Evolution of Co-Sleeping

I'm sure I've mentioned it here before that before Keevia was born, I was completely against bedsharing. Carl mentioned when I was pregnant about bringing her in bed with us, and I always said "No way! We'll smother her!" I looked down my nose at the parents who did so, thinking how horrifically unsafe they were being with their children.

Then, when I was pregnant, I stumbled across a parenting board on TheBump.com. I'd never heard of Attachment Parenting before, and I quickly googled the term. Other than some differences when it comes to discipline, I found myself agreeing with everything my searches turned up.

So I began haunting that board, and I soon found that a good majority of the people on there purposefully bedshared from birth. I had always planned to co-sleep, and had purchased a Arms Reach Mini Co-Sleeper at a yardsale, and received the Baby Trend Gabriella Playard from my Mom. Both made co-sleeping very easy, as the baby was RIGHT there, but I was still against baby being in bed with me.

At this point in our lives, Carl and I were living in an apartment in the big city, and spending a good bit of our time at my parents house. We had a queen size bed in our apartment, but a full-size bed at my parents. As I progressed in my pregnancy, Carl began sleeping in a different bedroom so as not to squish the baby in my belly.

After I gave birth, Carl wasn't comfortable with me spending time at our apartment alone (he worked from 3am-1pm, and had to go to bed by about 6-7pm), and insisted I stay with my parents for the first few weeks.

Keevia was so tiny and perfect, but there was one little problem. She didn't want to sleep unless I was holding her. Which was fantastic during the day because I couldn't bear to put her down, but at night she wouldn't settle in her co-sleeper very well. And when it came to nursing at night, I was still convinced I had to sit up to feed her (trying to figure out latch and all), but I found myself falling asleep sitting up.

Then one night, I gave up, pulled out my iPod and searched for Dr. Sears bedsharing safety checklist. With a little bit of moving and shuffling, I had my bed set up and I laid down with her. She stayed asleep, and I slept lightly.

As I got more confident, both with bedsharing and breastfeeding, I began just nursing on one side for several hours, the rolling with Keevia and nursing on the other side for several hours. I always started her off in the co-sleeper, and would get 1-3 hours of alone sleep before she came in bed with me. Once we went back to the apartment (although we didn't spend much time there, we moved home when Keevia was about 2 months old, and didn't spend much time at the apartment once she was born), I was a little nervous adding Carl to the mix, but I stuck to the bedsharing rules, and always kept my arm around her when she had to be in the middle to nurse.

As a result, I was never sleep deprived. She slept great, and even on her restless or fussy nights, she settled quickly. Around 4 months she started the dreaded Four Month Wakeful and was just, well, AWAKE from 4-6am. Some nights I put her in her bouncer in front of Seasame Street and she would drift back to sleep. Bad parenting? Maybe... but we both got sleep and were both happy, so I don't really regret it. The first time sleep deprivation got me was when she got her first cold at 6 months. By that time we had moved into our new house (which is next door to my parents) and there were 2-3 nights where she barely slept (stupid stuffy nose). At this point, with a six month old, I finally understood the sleep deprivation that non-bedsharing parents felt.

Keevia and I basically spent the first six months of her life in bed by ourselves. We fit well in a full size bed, and were quite comfortable most nights. As she got older, her first stretch of solo sleep got longer and longer. By the time we moved in our house, and began sharing a bed with her daddy again, there were nights when she was sleeping through the night in her co-sleeper, or only waking at 4-6 am.

At this point, however, she roused very easily. If I had a cold and a cough she would wake up every time I coughed. If you got up to go to the bathroom, she woke up. Carl was now working 5 days a week, having to be at work at 5am. His alarm would usually start going off at 2 am. She was not amused. Even when she came in bed with us, she would still toss and turn until her would finally get up, or we would move to the guest room. I put off moving her into her own room as long as I could, because I wasn't ready for it.

Around nine months we started putting her in her crib in her room. We left the co-sleeper in our room however. She would still nurse maybe once a night, but she was probably sleeping through the night 4 nights out of 7. If she woke up, it was no big deal, we just brought her into our bed.

We kept up this routine, having her start off in our bed occasionally, but sticking to the crib. Around one year I began having to lay down with her to get her to sleep, but I would always move her to her crib once she was asleep. Around 13 months she got her first (and only!) ear infection, as well as a case of bronchitis. Her cough (and the plegm in her throat) were so bad that she'd get choked and end up throwing up, sometimes several times a night. Carl deemed it unacceptable for her to sleep by herself (which I agreed) so we moved to the guest room for close to a month. It was a slow weaning process to get her from 100% of night time with mommy back to her crib, but we did it.

At 18 months we changed her crib into a toddler bed, and since that time, she simply comes padding into our room whenever she wakes up. Sometimes it's 1am, most of the time its 6 or 7. I love snuggling with her, and we never put her back in her bed once she wakes up. If she's sick, or scared (we've dealt with some night terrors the last two months), she may stay in our bed the majority of the night. We just go with it. We ended up purchasing a King size bed back in June/July, once we decided we wanted to get pregnant again, because we knew we'd soon be sharing the bed with two babies, not just one.

Some nights its frustrating. I sleep better when she's not in our bed (mainly because she likes to lay on top of me, or play with my cleavage, or simply lay THIS close to my back), and some nights I honestly just don't want to sleep with her... but I always remember HOW GOOD it felt to go running into my parents room, and to climb up in bed between them. I automatically felt safe, warm, happy and content. All bad-dreams went away, all fears disappeared. It wasn't a nightly occurrence with me, but I always knew that it was an option. I want Keevia (and baby girl#2) to feel the same way.

I don't really know how we'll manage once our newborn comes into the sleeping mix, but I'm sure we'll manage. Currently, Keevia is sleeping on a twin size mattress on the floor of her bedroom, and if necessary, we'll just move that mattress in our room for a while. I fully, FULLY believe that babies will learn to sleep on their own, but that each baby is different, and each on has their own night-time needs. I won't ever get these times back with my babies, and I don't want to have any regrets. As of yet, I don't, at least when it comes to my night-time parenting. I look forward to nursing this new girl, and snuggling with her late at night. Bedsharing isn't for everyone, and I realize that, but for our family, it's how we get through the nights.

Want more information? Dr. Sears has some awesome information on Co-Sleeping here, including studies he did on the breathing patterns of a co-sleeping newborn!

Wordless Wednesday - Surprise Edition