10 weeks!

So, I said I'd be posting more about this pregnancy, and then there was a great pregnant silence.

I've really had no desire to be around the computer much, and I've listened to it.

I was SO sick for over two weeks... I don't know if it was the bulging ear drum, the antibiotic they put me on FOR the eardrum (which always messes with my stomach), or just general allergy season which makes IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) worse. My Momma is convinced that the only reason I have morning sickness bad is because I have IBS as well, because she had little to no morning sickness. She says she remembers throwing up when she would brush her teeth in the mornings, but that was about it. Apparently she didn't get the memo that every pregnant woman is different. :)

Gentlemen and Dudes, you may want to skip this paragraph, as I talk about things you may not want to know about. You have been warned.
This pregnancy is actually remarkably like my pregnancy with Keevia so far. I even got a yeast infection which caused bleeding at the SAME TIME this pregnancy as I did with her (the bleeding isn't pregnancy related, it's the labia that bleeds, not from the cervix). I FREAKED with Keevia and actually went in to the doctor sobbing because I was right at 9 weeks and I lost Peanut at 8w6d. This time around I knew it wasn't anything to worry about (and really, its just a few drops of blood, but when you've had a miscarriage you inspect EVERY PIECE of toilet paper with a microscope usually). Thankfully, I've cleared it up though! I do still have copious amounts of discharge, which I had last time. If I continue having yeast like symptoms though, I'm going to have them check me. I think I had a severe bacterial vaginosis or a Strep B infection for the majority of my pregnancy last time, and it made me MISERABLE. I had to wear pantyliners every day or my pants would get soaked. It sucked.

Okay guys, you can read again.

My morning sickness is about the same. Since I got off the antibiotic and the vertigo has went away, I really only get sick first thing in the morning, if I get too hungry, if I get too hot, or if I stand for too long. All of these things were triggers last pregnancy too.

The one major difference between this pregnancy and the last? I'm not constipated! That made the last pregnancy a living hell from about 7-8 weeks until almost 22-24 weeks. How did I solve it? I switched prenatal vitamins to some without Iron, and viola! No constipation! I literally would only use the restroom once a week for over three months, and I would only use it then with the help of a suppository. Around day 5 or 6 I would start throwing up everything I ate because there was nowhere for it to go. Absolute misery. It feels WONDERFUL to not have that this time around!

I'm starting to feel better, and we're moving right along. I have another ultrasound/appointment on Sept. 6th! Keep us in your prayers!

Introducing: The story of Baby Bean

Yep! We're expecting again!

To say I'm in shock is an understatement.

I tracked my ovulation and fertility signs last month, but according to my temperatures, I never ovulated. I had other ovulation signs, but I wasn't betting that I ovulated. Eleven days later (around the fourth of July), I took two pregnancy tests (on two seperate days) that were both negative.

Fast forward another two weeks. I have really bad nausea and I've been EXHAUSTED for almost a month. I was also beginning to get heartburn (which I had my entire pregnancy with Keevia, and not at all otherwise). Carl and I were going out together to see Harry Potter, and then go to Wal-Mart, so while shopping, I picked up another test, just in case.

I ended up taking the test in the Wal-Mart bathroom and it turned positive IMMEDIATELY. I'm not going to lie, I cried like a baby on that toilet seat. We told our close friends and families, but kept it close to our chests other than that. Last Thursday I had my first ultrasound where we saw a strong heartbeat of 165.

I estimated that I was 8 weeks pregnant on that day. My last period would have me around 9 weeks. The baby showed to be around 7w4-5d on the ultrasound, so I'm close! It means I may not have ovulated when I thought, but the swimmers were there when the egg released. All in all, this baby is a gift from God, and we could NOT be happier.

I've had pretty continuous, debilitating nausea since around the time we found out. The exhaustion and poor sleep have been there since about conception time.

Last Friday I developed pretty severe Vertigo. I ended up laying down just about all weekend long (THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!), and went to the doctor on Monday. I have a bulging ear drum on one side, and was given antibiotics. I'm slowly getting better. I sat up about 45 minutes yesterday and over two hours today. I'm praying to get better soon... as much as I LOVE Bones (which I'm watching on Netflix), my sides and my neck HURT from laying down so much. And I miss taking care of my toddler. My parents have been lifesavers and SAINTS through all of this. On top of taking care of Keevia, cooking dinner for all three of us plus themselves, and taking care of ME, my Momma came over and cleaned my house from top to bottom yesterday. She's a saint.

Pray that I get to feeling better soon and can be up and at'um. Pray for this sweet miracle, as a miscarriage is always in the back of our minds, and pray for all those out there who read this and think "Why not me?". I've been there folks. I'm going to strive to keep the blog updated more during this pregnancy, because with Keevia's I shied away from writing about my pregnancy... because I was afraid I would hurt the friends I had who were childless. I'm so sorry you're in that position, and I understand if you stop reading, but this time around, I need to blog for myself more.

So, the cats out of the bag, and we couldn't be happier!

Wordless Wednesday - Surprise Edition

Absent

I've been absent from this blog for a little bit. I feel like a broken record when I do post. I have something in the works, but I'm really not ready to display it quite yet. Look out around August 4th for the big show.

Thank you all for your patience, and for your continued comments. Makes my day!

Keevia is doing so well. She is just an exuberant little personality. I swear her vocabulary grows by 10 words a day. Just this evening, while walking through Wal-Mart, she got SO excited to see dogs, and cats, and tick-tocks (clocks) and shoes, and apples, and nana's(banana's), and babies... it was an exhausting trip!

See y'all real soon, I promise.

"And I'm feeeeling gooooood...."

Does anyone else have a love/hate relationship with that Jennifer Hudson Weight Watchers commercial? Does anyone else watch as much TV as me?

Apparently having your pelvis and your neck realigned make you want to clean your house. I managed to deodorize & vacuum the carpet, as well as clean out (and not just throw away the food, but actually SCRUB) the fridge. I also did the dishes, cooked dinner, and bathed my kid. Day well done, eh?

Still frustrated with my cycles. I didn't exercise today, but I am DETERMINED to do so tomorrow. I missed temping this morning, but this months cycle is so screwy. Day 37ish and no ovulation. Lovely. I don't know if I should just concentrate on dropping the weight and putting procreating on the back burner for a bit... or if I should seek out more testing to make sure that I'm not missing something. They checked my thyroid in April and it was normal. We don't have the best insurance and I don't want to be out a huge amount of money... but I want to be better. I don't want to fall into the whole "using the weight as an excuse" thing, but I want to find out if it really is just the weight that's causing my cycles to be SO freaking long (and for me to apparently not ovulate).

On a happier note.... my child is hilarious. I'm so blessed to be her mother. At 20 months, she has 12 teeth (10 all the way through, her upper molars are still working on it), can identify a scary amount of shapes (thanks apps for the iPhone...), loves books more than anything, will point to any clock and go "Tick-Tock! Tick-Tock!", will identify anything that has anything to do with "The Wiggles" by screaming "WEE WEE" and wiggling her fingers, is very girly and dainty, loves to "cook" in her kitchen, would live outside if I let her, plays constantly with her "door" we got her, wishes Mommy wasn't quite so stuck up about the whole kissing doggies things, loves stealing chairs and iPhones, still loves her "Pah-peeesh" (pacifier) and just has the best personality.

I'm trying to keep perspective through this whole weightloss/conceiving thing. I have an absolutely beautiful daughter. I don't want her to be my only child, but if there's a 3+ year difference between them?  I guess I'm going to have to live with that. And I can, it just means erasing MY plan and settling in for GOD'S plan. Something I'm not always happy doing, but hey, life happens.

Today was a better day. Praying tomorrow is as well. 

Here we go again

I feel like all I'm writing right now is a repeat. I'm just in this constant weight loss struggle. I was doing sooooo well for a while, then I hurt my ankle. The same ankle I broke last year. I didn't want to do ANYTHING to cause me to do that again. So I stopped exercising. I haven't gained any of the 8 lbs I lost back, but I also haven't lost any more of 44-46 lbs I need to lose.

My cycles are still all screwed up, and that's frustrating as well. Why I thought that dropping 8 lbs would magically cause my cycles to straighten up, I don't know. But apparently I did.

I went to the chiropractor today and had my pelvis realigned, along with a vertebrae in my neck, my L1 vertebrae and my ribs. Because yes, my ribs go out of alignment. You have to be awesome like me for that to happen.

My mom told me today that she was concerned about me because I never seem to have an appetite. I beg to differ. When we're out and about on the town, and we're hungry, nothing ever sounds good to me. That's because we have ONE restaurant that I can stand to eat at, and it's rather expensive. I don't like fast food. I mean yes, I like french fries, but everything else? Meh. Not a fan.

I need to try and write less about me, and more about my sweet girl. She is so big, and has such a personality. Maybe a post will come soon.

Stick with me, I'm working on it.

Stunned

My college community lost a hero last night. A dear, dear friend, Paul Rice, passed away after a motorcycle accident.

I've known Paul since my sophomore year of high school. He took me under his wing, and called me his daughter. He always referred to me as his Irish Beauty because of the coloring of my skin and hair. There was always a Hersey bar with my name on it when I was feeling down, and Fireballs whenever he passed me. All through high school, and my sophomore year of college, he kept insisting that I needed to meet his daughter. Once I finally did, we became fast friends, and she was a bridesmaid in my wedding.

I have gone from sobbing one minute, to laughing the next, after reading Facebook posts all day. This man has touched so many lives, and changed the course of so many. His strong Christian faith stands out through it all. He encouraged people in a way no one else could. His anecdotes like "don't fry bacon naked" will live on, as well as the heart we all knew and loved.

I distinctively remember walking into his office a few weeks after Carl transferred to KCU. I walked in with a smile on my face, yet he stated "You're lovesick, aren't you?" Within seconds I was almost in tears, telling my whole story to him. He could read people like no one else. He encouraged me to not give up hope, and that Carl would come around, and sure enough, he was right.

A year and a half later I walked back into his office. This time he smiled so big, and stated "It's a girl!". I had found out I was pregnant THE DAY BEFORE and no one knew other than my husband. We hadn't even told our parents yet. And he knew. He knew Keevia was going to be a girl.

Just yesterday, on the way home from a family outing to Natural Bridge, Carl and I were talking about Paul and his family, and how desperately we missed them. A few hours later, I received the call that he had passed away.

My heart goes out to his two beautiful daughters, and his amazing wife. My prayers are with them as they go through this tragic time. Please join me in praying for them, as well as traveling mercies for all the people who will be traveling this weekend to say their goodbyes, us among them.

I love you Paul, and I can't wait to sing in a choir you run the sound for in Heaven. Give Peanut a hug for me.

Wordless Wednesday

Newport Aquarium

Happy Due Date, Peanut.

Last night, while driving home from a rather long trip, I let my mind drift over the past few days. Suddenly, I panicked. I quickly counted the days in my head, and breathed a slow sigh of relief.

I thought I had forgot my sweet Peanut's due date.

It's funny. Two years ago I would have sworn that I never could forget. And I didn't.... but I did almost pass it up. I've been thinking about my sweet first pregnancy since the beginning of June, just like I did last year, and the year before. But this year, other things took over my mind as well. This year I concentrated on my best friends birthday, which falls on the 18th. I concentrated on Fathers Day, and making sure that Keevia got to decorate cards. This year I concentrated on my parents 35th wedding anniversary. I concentrated on an overnight trip that my mom and I had planned, in which we took Keevia to the aquarium and saw my great aunt and uncle for the first time in years.

This year, Peanut wasn't first in my mind.

That both saddens me, and makes feel better. It saddens me that I could forget the loss of a child, even for a second, but it makes me realize that I'm moving on. I'm not dwelling. I'm healing.

My maternal grandparents have both passed away. I grew up beside them, and was ridiculously close to both of them. This year, I only remembered one of their death dates. My grandfathers, December 1st, marks a special place for me because that's also the day I miscarried (although I knew that Peanut was gone two weeks before). April 22nd, however, came and went this year without me even thinking about it.

Maybe it sounds callous, or cruel... but I know they wouldn't want me moping around missing them, especially when I know in my heart that all three of them are in a better place.

So today, I celebrate that this day is getting easier. I celebrate that my sweet baby is in Heaven, laughing and playing with my grandparents. But I also pause to cry a little, to think of the might-have-beens, and of seeing my two year olds face.

I'll hold you in Heaven Peanut. Mommy loves you always.

35

Today is my parents 35th Wedding Anniversary.

Momma and Daddy - Thank you so much for setting such an example for my marriage. Thank you for never arguing in front of me (or not really arguing at all), for loving each other through thick and thin. Thank you for always being there for one another, for joking through the painful times, right along with the hugs and the tears. Thank you for loving each other so much that you decided to have a kid. Thank you for sheltering me, and protecting me, for keeping me home, and for making sure that I had everything I could ever need. Thank you for trips to Lexington once a week for 5 years. Thank you for paying for a college education I'm not using. Thank you for taking Carl, Keevia and I in when we had to move home for a while.

My mom and Dad may not have a perfect marriage -- because no marriage is perfect, but they definitely know how to love one another. Sure, they get on each others nerves, and I'm sure some days are easier than others, but they have stuck through it. They have shown me (and I'm assuming my husband as well!) what a wonderful, God-filled, marriage is like.

I love you Momma and Daddy..

 

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!