Friday, June 18, 2010

Show Us Where You Live... Engagment Stories!

Kelly, from Kelly's Korner, does these awesome "Show Use Where You Live" things ever Friday. It's great! I don't always get involved, due to time and effort, but since Keevia is asleep and my bills are paid, I thought I'd do this one!

Carl and I dated from our Sophomore year of High School until we got engaged our Junior year of college. We didn't date continually that entire time... it was definitely an on-again-off-again sort of thing.

Our Freshman year of college, we had a HORRIBLE break up. We both said that that was it, and we would never get back together. We didn't speak for months (which is BAD for us, even after breakups we would still go to the movies and such normally). Finally, we broke down and began extending feelers of friendship again. I transferred from EKU to KCU over the summer, and he left EKU and went home to Cumberland to go to community college.

During this time, I was still madly in love with him. The break up was hard, but it had needed to happen. We were fighting over EVERYTHING, and we wanted different things. I learned later that he had had an engagement ring then. I'm not proud of how I acted during that break up, but it was for the best. But I still loved Carl. It took me months to finally be "un-mad" enough to cry, MONTHS. And if you know me, you know how monumental that is (I have cried at cat-food commercials before, mmkay?).

While I was at KCU, I admit, I was looking for my MRS degree. I mean, why not? It was a large pool of CHRISTIAN men. But the entire time I would look around campus, there was this nagging face inside my head.

So I prayed. I prayed that God would take away my love for Carl, so that I would be free to look at other guys. I would pour my heart and soul out at night, begging for me to stop caring about him. I'd go to bed refreshed, thinking that I'd feel better the next day, and that God would listen.

God didn't listen (THANK YOU GOD!), but he did have a wicked sense of humor. EVERY. TIME. I prayed that prayer, Carl would call the next day "Hey, wanna meet in Hazard (half-way between my hometown and his) this weekend for a movie?" EVERY. TIME. And I always went, because I still loved him.

In October, we met in Jackson and had a little heart-to-heart about some stuff. This is when I discovered he'd had an engagement ring... We hashed some stuff out, and remained friends.

Fast-forward through several more months. Our youth group needs a male sponsor to go to KCU's Summer in the Son program. I had already agreed to be the female sponsor. So we called Carl, and he agreed.

Insert a week of us acting exactly like an old married couple. EXACTLY. Then he asked to be youth minister at our church, and MOVED IN WITH MY PARENTS AND I. Insert an entire summer of me feeling like I was his wife, without any of the benefits.

I did his laundry. We went EVERYWHERE together. We went to the movies, out to eat, etc. We watched movies at my house together. I cooked for him. I was his wife.

Then school started back up, and he switched to KCU. Most weekends we were either riding together, or we were following each other. During the week I didn't see AS much of him as I had, and I missed him. Like, a lot.

September 10th, 2007. It was a Monday. It was also my 20th birthday. I had stayed home until that morning for some reason, so I was just now headed to campus. I was 2 blocks. TWO FREAKING BLOCKS, away from campus when I got rear ended, bad. Carl called moments after the accident to ask if I knew if we had choir, I apparently sounded shaky, because he stopped his question and asked what was wrong, when I told him I'd been in a car-wreck, he didn't even pause, he just yelled "WHERE ARE YOU?" I told him, and he showed up 2 seconds later. He drove my car to campus for me, and dealt with the other people.

We began having to ride with him back and forth to school as A) I had severe whiplash and couldn't drive. and B) My car was MIA until it got a new rear-end. And I realized, in those late night drives, how crazy I was for him. How I longed for him to reach over and touch my hand, just like he always used to.

So I got my nerve up, and I told him I still loved him. And he told me never, ever, would we ever be in a dating relationship again. This was a few weeks after my wreck, near the end of September. I cried, my girls took me out for smoothies (Christian campus, I couldn't drink...haha), and I tried to wrap my head around this new reality -- being in love with someone who loves you but doesn't want to be with you.

Fast-forward to October 19th. It was a Friday. We were at my house. We were sitting in his car, after just coming home from...something. He stopped me as I was getting out of the car and told me he had reconsidered. He still loved me too, and he wanted to try again.

SO! We started dating again. Around 1 month later (okay, November 26th to be exact), we're getting ready for Feast of Christmas dress rehearsal. I'm all done up in stage make-up and hair...

(scary, huh?)
ready to go on stage. Carl has been acting kind of weird all day, but I don't really think much of it. Suddenly, a few minutes before curtain call, he tells me he needs to "talk to me" outside.

My heart stops. Completely. No way. NO FREAKING WAY. You are NOT going to break up with me here. NOT before Feast dress rehearsal! Not before Feast! I have to perform all week long! I can't be getting over a break-up. I stand beside you! I'll want to kill you! This is not happening. Oh-my-gosh, I'm going to KILL you. Dead. You're dead. Completely. All of this was going through my mind as we wove ourselves through the tables already set up, and out into the lobby area. He stopped us in front of a bulletin board, right outside the cafeteria.

"I'm not getting down on my knee." He says. I was confused. "What?" I respond, just as he pulls out a ring box.

"Will you marry me?" I just stopped. I was in shock. I thought he was going to BREAK UP WITH ME. Not ask me to marry him! He opened the box, and there was a gorgeous engagement ring!

I turned around in a full circle (not sure why), and started jumping up and down. "Yes!" I squealed. We hugged, we kissed, and then we had to go back inside the gym to start dress rehearsal. When we walked in EVERYONE (all 70+ people) were looking at us, holding their breath. Carl nodded, and they all started cheering. Apparently, I was the last to know!

That was super, duper long, but it was really fun to write!


  1. It was really fun to read! What an amazing story, and still going strong. Congratulations!

  2. Enjoyed your story! The day my (now) husband proposed to me -- he was (in my mind) acting rather strangely all day. He went to church with me and he kept looking at me throughout the hour and I'd ask him if anything was wrong. His eyes were glassy, so I'm thinking, "uh-oh, he's going to break up with me and he's just waiting until after church, etc. We go out to eat, the same thing, keeps looking at me with those teary eyes and I don't know what to think! =) Well, finally before I had to leave for work (I know, what a bummer that was), he asked me to marry him!! Oh my goodness!!! I said "yes"! As I was reading that part about you thinking he was going to break up with you, I knew I had to share my brief story. Congratulations!!!


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