Monday, January 31, 2011

Willpower FAIL

Epic. Epic fail.

I had done so well today! I made Breakfast Pizzas, light on the cheese. I had a yogurt before going to down. I'd had 1 water bottle.

On the way home from town, I wanted to stop and get a mocha frappe from McDonalds. Which, by itself, wasn't the best idea. Then I found myself ordering a small french fry and a 10 piece chicken nugget.

Willpower FAIL. On all accounts. Ugh.

So now I'm feeling yucky, and so guilty. Ugh.

Tomorrow's a better day. We'll be going out for most of it (and it's so hard to eat well in town!), but I'm going to make smarter choices. I will.

My friend Tammy made a new years resolution last year to only eat fast food if they went IN the restaurant. They could get drinks at the drive-thru, but no food. I honestly think this is something I'm going to adopt. Because this is ridiculous.

And I'm still determined to get my water intake up today. 17 ounces so far. I found an awesome app on my iPod touch called "Waterlogged" that'll let me keep up with how many ounces I've had. AWESOME! This will really help, I think, I hope, I pray.

1. 2. 3. GO!

McFatty Monday - More Water, Less Carb

So. I didn't do so great this week.

I didn't do horrible. I don't think I gained (I forgot to weigh myself last week). I weighed in at 246 this morning.


Two HUNDRED and FORTY SIX pounds.


I need to lose 46 lbs. Well, no, actually I need to lose 66 lbs. But I'd be happy with 46.

If I lost 32 lbs, I'd be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

If I lost 46 lbs, I'd be back to my pre-miscarriage weight.

If I lost 56 lbs, I'd be back to my college weight.

If I lost 66 lbs, I'd be back to high school weight.

Right now, I'd be happy with anything. I'm miserable. Not even my fat pants fit. It has to come off.

I did good with the no coke thing this week! That was a point in my favor! I didn't buy any, and I only had about 4 in the whole week. (Okay, I probably had more than that on Saturday, but... um...I don't know how many I had then.).

I did not, however, do well with the water. I'm determined to start drinking 10 16oz water bottles a day (refilled from my Brita filter thingy).

I'm cutting back to 1 carb a day. I know this won't be realistic everyday.... but if I make a conscious effort, it'll get better. My plan is this: If I plan on making pasta for dinner, I have to eat an omelette for breakfast (or yogurt, or something like that. You get the picture), and a salad for lunch. If I eat French toast for breakfast, then I have a salad for lunch, and abstain from biscuits or potatoes at dinner. Get the idea?

Now, if we start getting our own wheat berries and grinding our own flour, I may make an exception to have that once a day in addition to another carb. Don't laugh, we're considering it.

My exercise? Non existent. My hip is out which makes it hard to walk, let alone exercise. I'm getting that fixed soon.

So, my resolutions for this week.

- Keep the Coke count low. Only buy one when out and you don't have water with you. Try to cut down to 2 this week (I'm weaning myself slowly, I'm not strong enough to go cold turkey.)
- Drink water. Till my eyeballs are swimming. 10 bottles a day.
- Try and eat only 1 carb a day. I can do it!
- Get my hip feeling better and at least go on a walk with Keevia in the Ergo or Beco. Hey, carrying 22 extra pounds around a track HAS to burn my calories, right?

And... GO!

Friday, January 28, 2011

All The Single Ladies People

I have a heart for singles. I know, I know... It's not like I was Kelly from, going years and years praying for THE ONE. I met my hubby in high school, we dated on and off, and then I got married at 20. I'm not trying to be condescending or anything... I really feel for singles!

I have quite a few single friends in my life, and oh how I wish they would find someone. The hardest part about being married is how crappy I feel that I found my soulmate, and they're still looking.

A good girl friend is going through a hard break up right now. We're physically not in the same place right now, so I can't wrap my arms around her in love and protection. I know how hard those break ups are. And I know how hard they are right before Valentines day (WHY. Why do boys do that? I realize it's probably because they have NO idea that there is such a thing as Valentines day coming up, but, I digress). I know what it's like to talk wedding plans and have all that ripped out from under you in one fell swoop.

Even in my most stressful days, when that tiiiiiny little voice goes "What if you were just single and only had to worry about yourself?" I never really want to go back to being single. I know how the loneliness feels. I know how painful it is. How it kills your confidence.

So today I'm praying for all my single friends. For all the girls and guys I know who haven't found their ONE yet. May God grant you peace. May he show you His love in a greater way. May he smile blessings upon your life, and point you to the right person in His time, and in His way.

Who do you know that I can pray for?

P.S. This is one of Keevia's all time favorite songs. I do not understand my daughters obsession with Beyonce.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

What would you like?

I have some post ideas in the works, from various household posts, to a catch up on Keevia, to a book review and giveaway. But I started freelancing again this week, and I have a teething almost 15 month old who is MISERABLE.

What would you like to see me talk about? Homeschool? Miscarriage? Parenting? Crafts? Cooking? Randomness?

Any ideas on things for me to write about?

P.S. I promise a big post tomorrow. Or maybe Saturday. Definitely soon!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

One of "those" posts


I've been having some....ahem... female issues. Among other symptoms. Enough to have me convinced I was pregnant. Even though three pregnancy tests stretched along a 2 week period would tell me otherwise.

What symptoms you may ask?

Well, I didn't get my first post-partum period until Keevia was 9 months old (TO THE DAY folks). Not unusual. I'm a nursing Momma. So I had one in July, then I had one in September, October, and December. Not exactly what you would call every 28 days (or even 31, or 35...). But I kind of just went with it (like I do with most things).

My last period was December 12th. I have this handy little app on my iPod called Pink Pad that lets me keep track of periods, *ahem* maritals, and symptoms. It also tells you, according to it, when you're most fertile. Although I think that's a rather crapshoot for me, as my periods are never the same length. I digress.

So, I had severe nausea. A feeling that every time I ate something, it got stuck right above my diaphragm. I was exhausted (still am), and my sense of smell was slowly beginning to rise. Oh, and my face looked like a 15 year olds. I haven't had acne that bad in YEARS.

I took the first test when I was like a day late, according to Pink Pad. Then about 10 days later, I still had no period, so I took another one. Then, I took the third 2 weeks from the first test. All negative.

I went to the chiropractor yesterday, hopeful that she would just find SOMETHING to be causing this. I want to be pregnant (although I don't necessarily want to be pregnant right this minute), but was frustrated that my body was driving me crazy if I wasn't.

Low and behold, my 3rd Lumbar vertebrae was subluxated. What does the 3rd Lumbar Vertebrae go to you may ask? Your ovaries and other sex organs. Of course it does!

Then, my loving chiropractor, whom is a wonderful, wonderful woman, decided to try and kill me. She adjusted my diaphragm and stomach to make sure they were in the right alignment.


However, I really wish she had done this when I was in college and a singer. I can now breath SO MUCH better.

So, I still haven't started my period... But the nausea is better. I'm crossing my fingers that I start soon, and, as my beautiful baby is weaning, they become more regular. I think my emotions need a break!

Monday, January 24, 2011

McFatty Monday -- back at it again!

I'm so excited that Blair, from Heir to Blair is bringing back the McFatty! I loved this link-up!

So. I'm fat. No, really. I am. Heaviest I've ever been. Ever. Including while pregnant. And I hate it. Like, hate it so bad it makes me want to cry. I'm trying to change it.

What am I doing this week?
- Cutting out pop. I was good, I resisted when Mom asked if I wanted her to buy a 24 pack. We have NO COKE in our house, or at Mom's house, and I shouldn't have to leave the house again and enter into temptation until Friday.
- Drinking more water. Like, a LOT more water. You're supposed to take your body weight, divide it in half, and then consume that many ounces per day. I need to consume 120 ounces. HOLY SHIZ.
- In general eat healthier. My main goal is to vastly limit sweets and to eat a super healthy lunch (salad or veggies).
- Exercise at least once, ideally twice. I'd love to do one round of yoga and one round of Zumba this week.

So lets see if I can make it happen. I'd love to start up my exercise posts. I NEED to start them up so I'll start exercising. I got out of the shower on Saturday and stood there, examining myself and my fat in the mirror, and I was so disgusted and so upset with myself. I don't want to be a size 5. I just want to be healthy.

And I will be. I will make it. I will.

CSN Stores GIVEAWAY Winner!

Drumroll please!!!!!!!!

Meaning, Our winner IS....

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Email me, and I'll get you the code!

A new giveaway is coming up soon! I'm going to be reviewing a book, and then giving it away at the end of the post! Keep your eyes pealed!

Saturday, January 22, 2011


In the past, I've blogged about not being enough. I've blogged about trying to be the best mom I can be. I've blogged about how being a mom isn't easy. I don't really want to rehash those tonight.

But I'm still feeling that way. My dishes are piled up. There are two laundry baskets of clean clothes to be put away in my bedroom. I had to fight with Miss Priss for an hour to get her to go to sleep.

I know that I am enough. I know that I am loved. I know that, at some point, every mother feels what I'm going through.

I've noticed that whenever I post these posts, or I begin to feel this way, is when I have to fight Keevia over sleep. Over the months, she has usually been a great sleeper. Sometimes it's just the GETTING to sleep that's the issue.

Usually Carl can give me a breather, but tonight he's sick. So he's not handling the baby much. She had been doing SO WELL laying down with Mommy. She'd even go to my bed and go "Night night?" But the past couple of days she just wants to pop up into a sitting position every few seconds, and then crawl (well, her version of crawl, which really looks like a beached whale) all over the bed, until finally she'd collapse from exhaustion. Last night I couldn't take it anymore (after 40 minutes mind you), got up, strapped her in the mei tei carrier, and started making cinnamon rolls from scratch.

She was asleep in five minutes.

I don't know how they manage it, but little ones can find the one way to frustrate you in almost any situation. I was all "YAY!!! She's asleep!!" While simultaneously "OH. MY. GOSH. Are you KIDDING me?" that it took all of five minutes.

So tonight, I was just done. I was so frustrated with her fighting sleep so much, that I sat in my chair in the living room and rocked her for an hour-hour and a half. She screamed probably 75% of the time. I'm not okay with CIO (alone, in a room by themselves) but I am okay with in-arms crying. Mainly because she's just pissed, and I'm there comforting her, and meeting her needs. I rocked, sang, gave her her sippy, paci, sang, rocked... etc. She finaaaaaaaaaaaaally gave it up and went down.

She has two teeth coming through, which I know is part of the problem. I'm trying to get through these teeth one day at a time, and I'll reassess when we get through them.

I'm fighting to not feel upset. To not feel inadequate. Every parent has rough days, and every parent has struggles. I'm choosing to look at the bright side. She's sleeping now, and I had enough time to change over the laundry.

Maybe tomorrow I'll tackle the clean clothes.

Friday, January 21, 2011


I'm sure I've blogged about my love affair with chiropractors before. I seriously wouldn't be walking if it wasn't for them. Seriously. My chiropractor was in the hospital room with us when we gave birth, and adjusted Keevia for the first time when she was about 30 minutes old. Since that time, we've been seeing her a couple of times a month. I SWEAR her adjustments are why she sleeps so well!

So, we took her to the chiropractor today for a routine check up. She wasn't showing too many signs, but her pelvis was still out a little, and her occipital was as well. She was adjusted both ways, without any tears this time! We made it home, and, amazingly she went to sleep in Mamaw's lap. We laid her on Mamaw's bed (which we've done for months) and blocked her in with pillows.

Fast forward two hours. Without hearing a peep from her to show she'd woken up, we suddenly hear this loud THUMP followed by a pissed off baby. We ran in, Mom examined her quickly (SUCH a benefit having a nurse as a mommy!) and she said she was fine. I picked her up and snuggled her close. She proceeded to pull away and yell at the dog, so I'm sure she's fine.

She's a little staggery, but we can't seem to see any other problems. I think we'll be going back to the chiropractor soon though, just to be sure.

And we really were going to try to get her back in her crib tonight!

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Alrighty peoples....

I have a giveaway! Aren't you EXCITED????

CSN Stores has given me an opportunity to giveaway a $20 gift card to one lucky winner!
CSN has over 200 different stores. How awesome is that? And the $20 will work on any of the websites! My personal fave? LOVE it!

So, wanna enter?

Two ways of doing so.

FIRST ENTRY - Become my follower (left hand side!) and then leave me a comment TELLING me you follow me! (If you already follow me, THANK YOU! Just leave me a comment saying you do).
SECOND ENTRY - Go to CSNStores website and comment to tell me what YOU plan on doing with the gift card!

You can do one, or both and get two entries!

Open to US and Canada Residents only (sorry guys). Giveaway will end Sunday, January 23rd at Midnight!

Good lucccccck!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I'm no Nester...

Since we moved into our house, one thing that has REALLY bugged me is the like of decorative things I've done. Before K's birthday, I did manage to get some framed photos and other decorations up on the walls... but it still wasn't exactly what I wanted to do.

The thing is, I have all these ideas in my head, but no idea how to execute them! Keevia's room is probably the room I'm happiest with (and the paint/wall decorations are still lacking!)

This is a picture from Mom's phone, so I apologize for the quality. However, you can kind of see! There's now a big KEEVIA over her bed (in browns and pinks). You can't see the bedskirt, but its a DwellStudio light pink with brown branches and birds on it. I LOVE it. I had a brown and white bumper on her crib until recently. It was SO cute, and had polka dots on one side, as well as stripes on the other. Adorable! See the curtain on the window? I bought those um... almost 3 years ago? For our first apartment. They WERE the color of the walls, but the brown print on them went well with her crib skirt... so I dyed them pink. I seriously could NOT be happier with how thy turned out. And the rug in front of her bed is my nod to my love of Zebra print. I bought it at a flea market for $10. Now that it's in the room, I'm pretty sure it's flawed, which is why I got it for that price... but seriously, I still love it.

This is probably the part I dislike the most about her room. I LOVE the lamp, and I LOVE the pink thing on the wall. But the thing that bugs me (and we just don't have the funds to fix it) is the black furniture mixed with her gorgeous cherry crib and dresser (not pictured). Beside the crib is a big black metal shelf as well... which I'm not a fan of. But, she needs shelving, and other than the thingie with the fabric boxes, we already HAD all the storage furniture in various other rooms... so they moved in here.

P.S. Let me just say how much I love that cube storage thing. One is shoes, one is diapers, one is clothes that she's outgrown that I just toss in until it gets full, then I store them in the tubs... One is stuff that I put on her and dislike and put in the giveaway pile...And the three on the right are all PJs... seperated into fleece pjs, long sleeved cotton, and short sleeve pjs. Yes, I'm THAT person that organizes to the nth degree. You should see her drawers.

Here is Keevs glider... which has gotten like zero use. In theory I love it though! On the back of the glider is a blanket that a family member started knitting when I was pregnant with Peanut. When I miscarried, she just bound it off and gave it to me. I love it. It's very small, and it is quite like a blanket interrupted... which is what Peanuts life was, a life interrupted. It's so soft and cuddly too, so it's just perfect.

Above the chair is a plaque with Keevia's name and birthday on it. My BFF sent this to Keevia after she was born. I LOVE it.

So this is Keevs room. There are a few other decorations on the wall, but mainly the walls are bare. And it's still the room I'm happiest with!!!

I never thought that I would like the "modern" look, but I have to admit, in her room I do. It's still not uber modern, but it's definitely more modern than the rest of my house. I've been perusing the interwebs for some ideas, and I came across this modern furniturestore. They're a subsidary of CSN stores, which is really cool. I've had several blogger friends do giveaways for CSN and they've always loved them! They have a ton of Dwell Studio stuff, which, I have to admit, I lurrrrve.

Alright, I'm off to work. And possibly to drool as much as possible over these cute dwell studio toys!!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Baby Carrier Review: Beco Butterfly VS. Ergo Original

First, let me start off by saying that I am not being endorsed by either carrier. I have purchased both an Ergo Original Carrier (in Galaxy if you must know) and a Beco Butterfly 1 carrier (I don't know the pattern name) with my own money. These are just my opinions, from my experiences with the carriers. No gain of any part is resting on this post! There, now the Government can't get their undergarments in a twist.

I am an avid babywearer. Although I didn't/don't wear Keevia around the house all that much, they have been invaluable throughout my entire almost (*gulp*) 15 months as a mother. I've probably invested more in baby carriers than I have anything else baby wise (except maybe clothes).

Around last March, I purchased my first soft-structured carrier. I had previously used Mei Tei carriers, as well as some pouch slings (I didn't discover wraps until later!). Keevia was getting just a little to big for her MT (Mei Tei) and I was looking for options my husband could use as well.

I have to admit, when I first bought the Ergo, I wasn't crazy about it. I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that Keevs was at an awkward size. She didn't really "fit" in there. Plus, I totally wasn't wearing it right.

This led me to purchase the Beco Butterfly 1. I bought it off of the FSOT (For Sale or Trade) board of The Baby Wearer. Initially I LOVED it.

As Keevia got older (and fit in the Ergo better) I began to love the Ergo more. I used it today for a few hours and had no issues. I seem to do better with the Ergo as a back carrier though, and still haven't managed to get a really comfortable front carry. I, personally, prefer the Beco to the Ergo, but it is NOT because one carrier is superior to the other. I know several Mommas who prefer the Ergo. I think a lot of it has to do with your body shape and size, where your personal ergonomic carry position is (I.E. Where it is most comfortable for YOU to wear your baby), and other reasons as well.

Here is my little list of differences between the carriers. I'm sure you can find this on various websites, but hey, this is my blog.

Both have a padded waist.
Both have padded straps.
(My opinion: The Ergo's padding is too thick. It doesn't seem to be any more comfortable than the Beco, but it sticks up much farther and is in some instances uncomfortable because of how thick it is (especially in a front carry, it digs into my arms in the back).
Both have sleep hoods. (Ergo is superior here! They have a sleep hood that easily snaps into place, and folds into a pocket in the front when not in use. The Becos is detachable, which is actually quite annoying. I've lost mine. The Ergo's is great because if Keevia falls asleep, I just pull it out of the pocket, snap it on, and viola! It's GREAT for nursing and for sleeping babes in general!)
Beco has a infant insert. Ergo has one available for purchase. (My insert is not removable. I'm told they are in the Butterfly 2's). I can't really review this part, as Keevia was 5 or so months when I got both.
Beco has an internal harness. Ergo does not. (Okay, originally this was a point in Beco's favor... and it still is. I can sit Keevia on the front seat of the car and strap her in the carrier and then swing her up on my back like a back-pack. It scares other people in the parking lot to death, but hey, it works. However, it's harder to get her out of the carrier on my own if I can't sit down somewhere. The Ergo does NOT have the internal harness, and so you can't swing the baby on like a back-pack (Well, you could, but it may not be safe). I end up doing the hip scoot, which is hard to do and keep your clothes (and your modesty!) intact. However, it's much easier to finagle the kiddo out of by yourself (which, when the kid is screaming in the middle of wal-mart, is important).
It is incredibly easy to nurse in the Ergo. Not so much the Beco. (That handy internal harness gets in the way of nursing.)
The Beco is smooth lined and not bulky at all, but remains comfortable and well padded.
The Ergo is bulkier and not as streamlined. Still comfortable and well padded, the padding sometimes gets in the way.
(Personally I think the waist is way over padded. It actually borders on uncomfortable when I wear Keevia in the front).
Both are easy to adjust.
The Beco is harder to get the baby down in
(I.E. It doesn't go as far up their backs if you're not careful. It's a "shorter" carrier). The Ergo seems to go farther up their backs and hold them in tighter. This is both a pro and a con depending on the situation.)

This is all I can think of right now. If I think of more things, I'll come back and edit this post. All in all, I think the most important thing is to TRY the carrier before you use it. Heavenly Hold has an AWESOME carrier trial program, and I'm told the owner is great to work with! I would loooooove to try a Beco Gemini, A Boba carrier, a Beco Butterfly 2 and an Ergo Performance (even though I don't have the budget to buy a new carrier right now!), and I'll definitely be looking into her trials in the future.

I ended up not selling either carrier, and I can't really complain. I have one for the car, and one for work now (Look for my upcoming guest post on Playdate Crashers for my work-at-home saga). It's great to just be able to flip her up on my back and go! Just thought I'd jot down my ideas on the two carriers, and give people a little bit of a review and a comparison!

In review? I love them both. :)

Edited to add - 7/15/11
Since writing this, I've purchased a Boba carrier (thanks Zulily!)! You can see my review of it here! P.S. It's my favorite! 

Working Mama

I'm currently attempting to dust off my cobwebby fingers and begin freelancing again. I need a different way (other than quilting with my Momma) to bring in money to supplement our income. As blessed as I am to have the job with Mom, if we don't have more orders coming in soon, I'm going to be screwed. So. Different route for income.

I've began submitting proposals for different jobs, and I'm looking into subbing at my alma mater (blech.). It's not something I really look FORWARD to, but hey, it's a paycheck.

We'll see. Right now I'm in the very unfortunate situation of being the waiting duck. So I'm waiting. And quilting tomorrow.

But hey, I need to put that college diploma to use somehow, right?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

*blank stare*

A post. Right.

Hi *waves*

My house was clean yesterday. Or maybe day before yesterday. I don't remember. I steam-cleaned the kitchen floors, Carl cleaned the living room and our bedroom. I did lots of laundry. We ignored the guest bedroom. It was really spotless!

Then I cooked two meals, and now my kitchen isn't so clean.

I, apparently, judge the cleanliness of my house by the state of my kitchen. I know I have a hard time going to bed if its dirty.

I've decided to start trying to freelance again. I had a very positive, successful experience with it about this time last year. Then I quit because of the baby... but now I'm thinking I could do it again. She goes down for a pretty long nap, and goes down consistently at night. Which she wasn't doing the last time I tried.

I'm planning on starting a weekly 'check-in'. I HAVE GOT to lose weight. I want another baby, and I don't want to be 244 lbs getting pregnant. Instead of freaking out about dieting and crunching numbers, I'm going to make it all about exercise. Positive thoughts people.

That's about all, folks. Oh! I'm going to guest blog somewhere. How exciting is THAT? I'm pretty pumped! I'd love to get this little piece of space a little more notoriety... as well as just write.

Mmk. Going to go crawl in bed with my bedhog soon. Seriously, how does one 14 month old take up 3/4 of a QUEEN SIZE bed?

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Rant: Carseats

I apologize. This is a rant. Nothing more.

I had a chiropractor appointment yesterday. After 2+ hours in there (long story), I went through McDonalds to get some lunch to bring home to Mom and Keevia. As I walked back to my car, I noticed that there were two little kids and a lady in the front seat of the truck parked beside me. One of them looked to be younger than Keevia, and was sitting in the ladies lap, fast asleep. I wouldn't have judged automatically, except for the fact that THERE WERE NO CARSEATS IN THE TRUCK. AT. ALL.

This irks me people. Sure, by putting my baby in a carseat, I don't guarantee her safety. But I can guarantee she is a heck of a lot safer in a carseat than in my lap. I am ALL about buying used stuff, especially for little ones, but I will never, EVER buy a used carseat unless I know the person and I KNOW that the carseat hasn't been in a wreck.

To me it's just idiotic not to pay attention to carseat safety. It is the singularly MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do. I could look up the research, but your kid is much more likely to die from a car crash than almost anything else. Why NOT do every single thing you can do to protect them?

It's not even about rear-facing or forward-facing (although, I have to admit, I'm rather passionate about extended rear facing as well). It's just about safety in GENERAL. I understand that not every parent can afford a $300 car seat. Trust me. That's fine. Do your research and purchase the best carseat you can in your price range. Get the installation inspected by a professional. Make sure that your child is properly buckled in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Don't put your baby in the carseat in bulky clothing. Do the best you can in the constraints of your budget.

It just KILLS me when I see kids freely moving around the backseat or the front seat. Sitting on parents laps. And it is a HUGE epidemic around here. I need to start writing my article for the newspaper again, and I need to go into a (calmer) rant about carseats. But it is seriously one of my biggest parenting pet peeves.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Sleepy Lady Shuffle

Sleep is something that seems to cause huge rifts and wars when it comes to parenting. Both between parents (cry-it-out, not to cry-it-out... To nurse to sleep, not to nurse to sleep... Sleep in the crib, sleep in the parents bed, etc.) as well as between parents and child ("Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase baby. Please go to sleep. Please. Mommy is dying. Please sweet heart!"). It's something we've struggled with some, but something I definitely have no regrets on.

I'm anti-CIO (cry-it-out). No apologies. I'm sorry, but leaving my baby alone in a room to cry themselves to sleep to "teach" themselves to sleep? Not buying it. Let me interject here to say that I DO believe that there are two different types of cry-ers though. Moxie discusses how her two children are completely different when it comes to falling asleep, and how one of them is a "Stress Intensifier" (or something like that) and one is a "Stress-reliever". Basically one of them cries for 2 minutes to release stress, rolls over and goes to sleep. While the other one, if left alone to cry, becomes more and more stressed as they continue crying. Keevia, without a doubt, is in the first category. Even now I have to distract her when she starts crying, or it will intensify and escalate until she forgets why she's crying. I do believe that it's the parents responsibility to teach their children to fall asleep, but I think it needs to be in a safe, healthy environment. If it were me, and someone locked me in a room, where I couldn't get out, couldn't have anyone answer me, and I as scared... I'd go crazy crying. That's not something I want my daughter to experience.

Also, let me state that I think in-arms crying has its place. We've HAD to do it on some nights when she was so over-tired that there was no other option. It is excruciatingly difficult for the parent, but over-all it sometimes works for the child. It's not something I would want to do on a regular basis, and if I find we're doing it for more than 3 nights in a row (and something medical isn't going on), I know it's time to re-vamp our sleep schedule.

I also think that a lot of Moms fall victim to sleep training when their kid is going through a developmental stage. I know when Keevia was 4 months old, she was waking up ALMOST EXACTLY at 4 am in the morning and being awake for an hour to two hours. It was EXHAUSTING. I was at my wits end. I googled "Four Month old wakening" or something like that, and came to Ask Moxie's post about sleep regressions. CHANGED MY LIFE. Go read it. Right now (well, after you've read mine). It was so true to point, and as I read the comments, I actually cried. Most Moms seek out sleep-training at four months and nine months... the two most common sleep regressions! Keevia's sleep was greatly effected both times (and I'm dreading the 18 month regression!). I think that sleep regressions are VASTLY unknown and VASTLY under-rated. Once we got through the week-two weeks, she went back to her normal sleep habits without issue.

So how have we done it? Let me start off by saying its not perfect. We've had some issues. In fact, right now, we're in a kind of transition phase that isn't much fun. But we just grow around them. Instead of freaking out because her routine is changing, I try to be as go-with-the-flow as I can.

When Keevia was born, I always (read: mostly) tried to start her out in either her Arm's Reach Co-Sleeper or her Baby Trend Gabrielle Pack n Play beside the bed. As soon as she woke up the first time, I pulled her in bed with me. In the very early weeks, SOMETIMES I would sit up in bed and nurse her sitting up... then attempt to lay her back down. Most of the time though, I just pulled out the boob and nursed her as we both drifted off to sleep. Now, let me break in here to say that I never had a baby who freaked out if she fell asleep nursing and dropped the boob. She also took a pacifier (MAM brand) from the very first week or so.

As she got older, she slept longer and longer stretches in her baby bed. Around 9 months, we moved her from her baby bed in our room to her crib in her room. It was seamless. I'd napped her in there for a week or so, and she had no problems. She would sleep through the night (STTN) occasionally, and occasionally still come in bed with us around 4-6 am. She actually slept BETTER in there because it was quieter.

This had been our routine for around 4-5 months. Until teething hit.

Oh teething. How I hate thee.

Now? We have a routine, and one that, for me, is inconvenient at times... but its obviously what my babe needs.

Around the beginning of December, Keevs got a sinus infection. She had to sleep with me on and off some. During this time, she was also extrodinarily fussy from teething. She would no longer rock and nurse to sleep in my arms in the living room. Out of desperation one night, I carried her in the guest room. I nursed her, and then when she started picking at my face, I rolled with my back to her. Within minutes she had soothed herself to sleep.

This has became our routine. Every night we do the bath, story, snuggle time... then she'll start going "Nigh nigh" which means she wants to go lay down. She's been known to go to the door of our bedroom and call my name as well :)

The only problem is that she's not doing well in her crib at all. Over the last three weeks, she's spent one night in there (for the majority of the night). I sleep better when she sleeps in the crib, but she obviously needs me (emotionally if nothing else!).

It IS frustrating. I'm exhausted, and sometimes her soothing to sleep takes upwards of 45 minutes to an hour. I always think of all the housework I could be doing if she were already asleep, or if she would go to sleep faster. I've really been struggling to find the balance recently, and learn to relax in our snuggle time.

I think it's a transition to learning to fall asleep on her own, but we're obviously not to that step right now. I randomly try to lay her drowsy but awake in her crib, but I'm always met with screams... so I pick her back up. And then we go lay down.

I've enjoyed the snuggles we've shared, as my very active 14 month old is NOT very interested in snuggling during the day... but I've missed snuggling with my hubby. I know she won't be in our bed forever, so I take it night by night. Last night she slept in her crib from 10-5... tonight? She's in my bed right now, we'll see if she gets moved!

I think sleep is such a big issue because we all need it. As parents, we get so deprived of it that we can't think clearly. I have a daughter who requires me to put her to sleep every night. That gets tiring.... but she won't be little forever. It's a mantra I chant to myself, and with every day I know it's true. My baby is fading, and a strong-willed toddler is taking her place. If clinging to me at night is how she's holding on to her babyhood, then I'm okay with it for now!

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Faith, in stages

I've been wanting to write a post about my faith for a while. Something that defines who I am, and what I believe in. But I realized that that isn't as easy as it sounds.

I went to a Bible college, and have sat through numerous Bible classes and theology lectures. And I'm going to tell you a big secret (they can't take my diploma away now, right?)... I would not have gotten through college if it weren't for my Daddy. He would read through the heavy theological books we were supposed to read and high-light and leave notes. He never did my work for me perse, he just brought it down to my level. I aced all the rest of my college classes, but philosophy and theology just never made sense to me.

Why didn't it make sense to me? Because to me it was simple.

Jesus is Lord. God sent Jesus to us to save us. There is no other way but Jesus.

The end.

I don't care about the philosophical ramifications behind the statements I just made. Maybe I should, but I don't. I believe that I need to love everyone. To spread the love that Jesus showed, and to not judge. It's not that hard of a concept, at least for me. I just can't wrap my head around all the nuances of the different philosophical planes.

So it's hard to define who I am as a Christian. I guess I'd have to define myself. I'm a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, and sometimes a writer. When I do all of those things, I have to do them with Christ showing through me... I shouldn't have to try... and Christian shouldn't have to be added to that definition list. It should be WHO I am, which everything else revolves around.

I'm not making much sense to myself... except that I need to bring God to the forefront of who I am and what I do. I need to be defined by him first, and the other titles second.

And I need to trust in him fully. For me, that's the hardest part.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Well, lets see..

It's almost a week after new years day... lets see how I've done on my resolutions so far, shall we?

1. Nope.
2. Nope.
3. Nope.

I recently read a book called "Something Borrowed" by Emily Giffin... In it, the main character, named Rachel, has this thing where when she's trying to stop doing something, she says "1 - 2 - 3, GO!" and gives herself a clean start. So.





In my defense on the Exercise front, I'm trying to make sure my body is in alignment before I start working out. I took a tumble in Lexington before Christmas when the ice was so bad, and I'm still not up to par. It knocked my pelvis, my sacrum, my right hip and various vertebrae out of alignment. For whatever reason, I'm not staying in with adjustments either. Right now my left low back is hurting, as is my right hip.

Keevs is doing fine. She now has 5 teeth! I noticed two days ago that she had gotten her lower right tooth!

This is purely for me:
Lower right tooth (middle): Nov. 8th
Lower left tooth (middle): Nov. 11th
Upper right tooth: Nov. 28th
Upper left tooth:Dec.3rd
Lower right tooth (outer): Jan 4th.

Keevia can now sign:
all done
and occasionally eat
I think she's trying to get "drink" down. We're working on it!

She has said stuff as advanced as "little people" and she constantly tells the dog to "aay doowww" (Lay down). She says Mama, Mamaw, Papaw, and Dada pretty well! "Nana" seems to be drink, or nurse.

I really feel the call to pray more. I need to dive in the word much more than I have been. I'm going to be honest. My personal walk with Jesus is completely lacking. I honestly can only go up from here. And with the things going on in the world around us, I've been having some serious anxiety issues. I literally almost had a panic attack today while Mom was watching some alternative news videos. I just feel like God is saying "Pull into me" and I really, really need to listen.

I have a book review for Book Sneeze coming up soon, and maybe that will help me! I received a daily devotional book, that so-far, I really like. Something to look forward too!

So, yet again.

1. 2. 3. GO!