I'm struggling right now.
I'm struggling with my health. I can't seem to stay in alignment, and my PCOS is rearing its very, very ugly head. We need a new mattress, but it's a rather large investment, and I have to figure out how in hades to get it almost 2 hours here. Keevia has had a pretty bad cold that's made the whole family kind of miserable.
Carl got the new job and has been doing it for over a week now. We're in the adjustment period. It's not easy right now, but I know it'll get better.
I'm struggling with a blanket I'm doing for Rows for Remembrance. I'm struggling with laundry. I'm struggling with energy. I'm struggling with keeping my house clean. I'm struggling with remembering to pay bills. I'm struggling with... everything.
My weight is the same. I did walk half a mile last week, and if the rain ever holds up I plan on it becoming more the norm. The day after my Mom finishes her taxes I'm making her start a Zumba routine with me. No more excuses from either of us.
Please forgive me as I struggle through this. I have two posts in my head that need to get out, and they will soon.
If you pray, and feel led, pray I get my period soon. I'm on day 60+ (I'm not sure exactly what day, it was iPod my iPod and my iPod took a swim in my purse with Keevia's milk sippy and is now sitting in a bag of rice while I pray it works) of my cycle and I'm miserable. I'm crampy, bloated, nauseous, cranky and lethargic. I seriously feel like doing nothing but laying on the couch, moaning about my nausea. I think that either the PCOS is throwing me out, or me going out is pissing off the PCOS. I don't know. But it needs to stop.
I'm coming back soon, promise.
Hugs & Kisses
Showing posts with label AF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AF. Show all posts
Monday, April 11, 2011
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Feeeeeeeeeeeever... in the morning... Fever all through the night...
I have a fever. I think it's contagious.
Not Bieber fever, not a fever that needs more cowbell, and not a fever that raises the numbers on the thermometer.
I have baby fever.
Every time I get on facebook it seems there are more and more pregnant bellies and pregnancy announcements. And I badly want to join them.
We're ready to be pregnant with number two, we're just trying to have it done on God's timing, not ours. We hadn't been actively trying, but we haven't been doing anything to prevent it either.
Once I start my period, I'm going to chart again. My cycles are all screwed up because of this lovely PCOS, and I'd like to at least have an idea when I'm ovulating. Since I had Keevia my cycles have switched from 28 days to 64 days. Yeah...
So it may take us a while... and we're okay with that. I think my little girl is finally big enough to be a big sister (especially since it'll take another 9 months once we get a positive!), and I'm confident in being able to take care of two. Now just comes the waiting, and praying, game.
God knows whats best, and I accepted that a long time ago, now I'm just praying that his timing, and our timing, aren't completely against each other.
Not Bieber fever, not a fever that needs more cowbell, and not a fever that raises the numbers on the thermometer.
I have baby fever.
Every time I get on facebook it seems there are more and more pregnant bellies and pregnancy announcements. And I badly want to join them.
We're ready to be pregnant with number two, we're just trying to have it done on God's timing, not ours. We hadn't been actively trying, but we haven't been doing anything to prevent it either.
Once I start my period, I'm going to chart again. My cycles are all screwed up because of this lovely PCOS, and I'd like to at least have an idea when I'm ovulating. Since I had Keevia my cycles have switched from 28 days to 64 days. Yeah...
So it may take us a while... and we're okay with that. I think my little girl is finally big enough to be a big sister (especially since it'll take another 9 months once we get a positive!), and I'm confident in being able to take care of two. Now just comes the waiting, and praying, game.
God knows whats best, and I accepted that a long time ago, now I'm just praying that his timing, and our timing, aren't completely against each other.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
My PCOS journey
I blogged a little bit a week or so ago about my PCOS effecting my weight. I thought I'd delve in a little deeper to how PCOS has affected my life, and what I'm doing about it.
I never had really regular periods. I would sometimes go months in between periods. I started being visited by good ole' Aunt Flo when I was around 12-13 years old. By 15, they still hadn't straightened themselves out, so we headed to a gyno. Not uncommon they said, and put me on the pill. Ugh. The pill. Never again. I think I went through about 5 brands and never DID find one that didn't make me A) a horrible, horrible dirty word of a person. B) Have migraines so bad ON THE SAME DAY of my cycle that I couldn't go to school or even move very far out of the bed. or C) Screw up my hormones so badly that I was a basket case. Ultimately I stopped all of them because of the migraines.
Around that same time, I began getting cysts that would "explode". I had confirmed "multiple bilateral cysts" by ultrasound. I had several pelvic ultrasounds by the time I was in college! No luck. The Pill didn't help the cysts very much (not that I could tell, the migraines were too bad) and I was beginning to get miserable.
So. I took it in my own hands. I started watching what I ate more carefully. I desperately wanted to be a mom someday, so I fought for my body. I fought for my ovaries. I watched the carbs. I watched the glycemic index foods. I stayed far, far away from anything that had high fructose corn syrup in it (a contributing factor to PCOS in my humble opinion). I began using an all natural progesterone cream. And I got healthy. My periods evened out.
But I was still having cyst pain. I went in to a new OB/GYN on the suggestion of my family doctor (can I just pause to say how freaking HAPPY I am now that my family doctor got me into this office? One of the best in our area, and because I was an existing patient, I was able to go there when I did get pregnant. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to. SO HAPPY.). I LOVED this woman! She LISTENED to me. After we had tried a few things, she said "Well, what would you like to do?" and I suggested Metformin (glucophage) (which is a diabetes drug). She agreed we'd try it.
Magic. No pain! No cysts!
I'd say I stayed on it for about 6 months to a year? It was great. PCOS is caused by insulin resistancy and the glucophage makes your body recognize and use the insulin it already makes more efficiently.
When I got married, I went off the medicine, because it could have side-effects if I became pregnant. And I did (a few months later). And I miscarried. I became pregnant again two cycles later. It wasn't hard for me, but I hadn't had symptoms in months.
Now I'm 16 months post partum. I didn't start periods back until my daughter was 9 months old, but I was breastfeeding constantly. I'm still breastfeeding now, but we're down to about twice a day. And my periods are all over the place. I've only had about 4 in the past 7 months. The last cycle was 54 days long. And I KNOW I had a cyst. I felt it "form" on January 4th and I felt it burst on February 2nd. I started my period on February 7th.
So that's where I am. My symptoms are back. I cannot seem to lose weight (although it would help if I exercised, I'm sure). I'm at my heaviest ever. I'm trying to eat low-glycemic. I'm going on the cream again, and looking into D-Chiro-Inositol.
I'm currently taking 10,000 mgs of Vitamin D, 400 mg of Magnesium, a whole food Prenatal vitamin, 1000 mg of Fish Oil and 500mg of Green Tea extract. I plan on adding that D-Chiro-Inositol and Chromium to the mix soon. I do not plan on going on any medications to ovulate... we don't have the money, and I would rather do it as naturally as possible. I'm also not looking to get pregnant until I get this somewhat under control. I don't want to risk another miscarriage if at all possible.
So. That's where I am right now. I did it once, I can do it again.
I never had really regular periods. I would sometimes go months in between periods. I started being visited by good ole' Aunt Flo when I was around 12-13 years old. By 15, they still hadn't straightened themselves out, so we headed to a gyno. Not uncommon they said, and put me on the pill. Ugh. The pill. Never again. I think I went through about 5 brands and never DID find one that didn't make me A) a horrible, horrible dirty word of a person. B) Have migraines so bad ON THE SAME DAY of my cycle that I couldn't go to school or even move very far out of the bed. or C) Screw up my hormones so badly that I was a basket case. Ultimately I stopped all of them because of the migraines.
Around that same time, I began getting cysts that would "explode". I had confirmed "multiple bilateral cysts" by ultrasound. I had several pelvic ultrasounds by the time I was in college! No luck. The Pill didn't help the cysts very much (not that I could tell, the migraines were too bad) and I was beginning to get miserable.
So. I took it in my own hands. I started watching what I ate more carefully. I desperately wanted to be a mom someday, so I fought for my body. I fought for my ovaries. I watched the carbs. I watched the glycemic index foods. I stayed far, far away from anything that had high fructose corn syrup in it (a contributing factor to PCOS in my humble opinion). I began using an all natural progesterone cream. And I got healthy. My periods evened out.
But I was still having cyst pain. I went in to a new OB/GYN on the suggestion of my family doctor (can I just pause to say how freaking HAPPY I am now that my family doctor got me into this office? One of the best in our area, and because I was an existing patient, I was able to go there when I did get pregnant. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to. SO HAPPY.). I LOVED this woman! She LISTENED to me. After we had tried a few things, she said "Well, what would you like to do?" and I suggested Metformin (glucophage) (which is a diabetes drug). She agreed we'd try it.
Magic. No pain! No cysts!
I'd say I stayed on it for about 6 months to a year? It was great. PCOS is caused by insulin resistancy and the glucophage makes your body recognize and use the insulin it already makes more efficiently.
When I got married, I went off the medicine, because it could have side-effects if I became pregnant. And I did (a few months later). And I miscarried. I became pregnant again two cycles later. It wasn't hard for me, but I hadn't had symptoms in months.
Now I'm 16 months post partum. I didn't start periods back until my daughter was 9 months old, but I was breastfeeding constantly. I'm still breastfeeding now, but we're down to about twice a day. And my periods are all over the place. I've only had about 4 in the past 7 months. The last cycle was 54 days long. And I KNOW I had a cyst. I felt it "form" on January 4th and I felt it burst on February 2nd. I started my period on February 7th.
So that's where I am. My symptoms are back. I cannot seem to lose weight (although it would help if I exercised, I'm sure). I'm at my heaviest ever. I'm trying to eat low-glycemic. I'm going on the cream again, and looking into D-Chiro-Inositol.
I'm currently taking 10,000 mgs of Vitamin D, 400 mg of Magnesium, a whole food Prenatal vitamin, 1000 mg of Fish Oil and 500mg of Green Tea extract. I plan on adding that D-Chiro-Inositol and Chromium to the mix soon. I do not plan on going on any medications to ovulate... we don't have the money, and I would rather do it as naturally as possible. I'm also not looking to get pregnant until I get this somewhat under control. I don't want to risk another miscarriage if at all possible.
So. That's where I am right now. I did it once, I can do it again.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
One of "those" posts
So...
I've been having some....ahem... female issues. Among other symptoms. Enough to have me convinced I was pregnant. Even though three pregnancy tests stretched along a 2 week period would tell me otherwise.
What symptoms you may ask?
Well, I didn't get my first post-partum period until Keevia was 9 months old (TO THE DAY folks). Not unusual. I'm a nursing Momma. So I had one in July, then I had one in September, October, and December. Not exactly what you would call every 28 days (or even 31, or 35...). But I kind of just went with it (like I do with most things).
My last period was December 12th. I have this handy little app on my iPod called Pink Pad that lets me keep track of periods, *ahem* maritals, and symptoms. It also tells you, according to it, when you're most fertile. Although I think that's a rather crapshoot for me, as my periods are never the same length. I digress.
So, I had severe nausea. A feeling that every time I ate something, it got stuck right above my diaphragm. I was exhausted (still am), and my sense of smell was slowly beginning to rise. Oh, and my face looked like a 15 year olds. I haven't had acne that bad in YEARS.
I took the first test when I was like a day late, according to Pink Pad. Then about 10 days later, I still had no period, so I took another one. Then, I took the third 2 weeks from the first test. All negative.
I went to the chiropractor yesterday, hopeful that she would just find SOMETHING to be causing this. I want to be pregnant (although I don't necessarily want to be pregnant right this minute), but was frustrated that my body was driving me crazy if I wasn't.
Low and behold, my 3rd Lumbar vertebrae was subluxated. What does the 3rd Lumbar Vertebrae go to you may ask? Your ovaries and other sex organs. Of course it does!
Then, my loving chiropractor, whom is a wonderful, wonderful woman, decided to try and kill me. She adjusted my diaphragm and stomach to make sure they were in the right alignment.
O
W
C
H
However, I really wish she had done this when I was in college and a singer. I can now breath SO MUCH better.
So, I still haven't started my period... But the nausea is better. I'm crossing my fingers that I start soon, and, as my beautiful baby is weaning, they become more regular. I think my emotions need a break!
I've been having some....ahem... female issues. Among other symptoms. Enough to have me convinced I was pregnant. Even though three pregnancy tests stretched along a 2 week period would tell me otherwise.
What symptoms you may ask?
Well, I didn't get my first post-partum period until Keevia was 9 months old (TO THE DAY folks). Not unusual. I'm a nursing Momma. So I had one in July, then I had one in September, October, and December. Not exactly what you would call every 28 days (or even 31, or 35...). But I kind of just went with it (like I do with most things).
My last period was December 12th. I have this handy little app on my iPod called Pink Pad that lets me keep track of periods, *ahem* maritals, and symptoms. It also tells you, according to it, when you're most fertile. Although I think that's a rather crapshoot for me, as my periods are never the same length. I digress.
So, I had severe nausea. A feeling that every time I ate something, it got stuck right above my diaphragm. I was exhausted (still am), and my sense of smell was slowly beginning to rise. Oh, and my face looked like a 15 year olds. I haven't had acne that bad in YEARS.
I took the first test when I was like a day late, according to Pink Pad. Then about 10 days later, I still had no period, so I took another one. Then, I took the third 2 weeks from the first test. All negative.
I went to the chiropractor yesterday, hopeful that she would just find SOMETHING to be causing this. I want to be pregnant (although I don't necessarily want to be pregnant right this minute), but was frustrated that my body was driving me crazy if I wasn't.
Low and behold, my 3rd Lumbar vertebrae was subluxated. What does the 3rd Lumbar Vertebrae go to you may ask? Your ovaries and other sex organs. Of course it does!
Then, my loving chiropractor, whom is a wonderful, wonderful woman, decided to try and kill me. She adjusted my diaphragm and stomach to make sure they were in the right alignment.
O
W
C
H
However, I really wish she had done this when I was in college and a singer. I can now breath SO MUCH better.
So, I still haven't started my period... But the nausea is better. I'm crossing my fingers that I start soon, and, as my beautiful baby is weaning, they become more regular. I think my emotions need a break!
Monday, January 26, 2009
GreAT day!
Man, has it been a good day!
I almost added this to the Not ME! post, but decided it deserved its very own.
First: We sold Carl's mustang today! This is a HUGE praise!!!!!!!!!!!! We've been trying to sell it since this summer. When we pulled into my parents driveway this weekend, Carl goes "I'm just going to sell it to the guy in town" well, the guy in town wasn't offering us what we wanted for it... so I said "Well, lets actively try to sell it again, and if nothing pans out from that, then we'll sell it to the guy in town."
WE GOT A PHONE CALL AN HOUR LATER! We sold it for the price we wanted. We never tried to do it actively, we just went in the house! GOD IS GOOD!
Second: I GOT MY PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Third: We sold Carl's drumset today!!! Another $520! GOD IS GREAT!!
Good day, very, very good day.
Please continue to pray for baby Harper! She's doing much better! I'll post a link on the side later!!
HAVE A GREAT rest of the monday!
I almost added this to the Not ME! post, but decided it deserved its very own.
First: We sold Carl's mustang today! This is a HUGE praise!!!!!!!!!!!! We've been trying to sell it since this summer. When we pulled into my parents driveway this weekend, Carl goes "I'm just going to sell it to the guy in town" well, the guy in town wasn't offering us what we wanted for it... so I said "Well, lets actively try to sell it again, and if nothing pans out from that, then we'll sell it to the guy in town."
WE GOT A PHONE CALL AN HOUR LATER! We sold it for the price we wanted. We never tried to do it actively, we just went in the house! GOD IS GOOD!
Second: I GOT MY PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!
Third: We sold Carl's drumset today!!! Another $520! GOD IS GREAT!!
Good day, very, very good day.
Please continue to pray for baby Harper! She's doing much better! I'll post a link on the side later!!
HAVE A GREAT rest of the monday!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Depressing.
I've charted 3 days now, and for whatever reason, it didn't count the first day, then I threw out this mornings because I woke up an hour before i checked it and kind of dozed.
Monday, December 29, 2008
God moment
Wow. God works in wonderful, mysterious ways.
A few weeks ago, a friend of Carl's and mine's mother emailed us. I had commented on Tammy Nischan's blog, and she had saw it, and it led her here. After reading our journey, she felt led to email us, and did. She proceeded to share a story of pain and heartache, that touched Carl and I deeply. She and her husband have endured 3 miscarriages, and are now attempting to adopt from China. Her email was one of the most moving, beautiful things I have read. Her compassion knows no bounds. I truly believe that our conversations were a healing touch.
Carl brought up the fact that we go through everything in our lives for a reason. It's only when we go through pain and heartache that we can minister to those who are going through pain and heartache. Carl mentioned that maybe one of the reasons that Terri and Tim had their miscarriages was that they could minister to us, a heartbroken couple enduring the same thing.
Well, I just had my very own God moment. Over Christmas, my sister in law, Steph, mentioned that a girl we went to school with had recently had a miscarriage with a blighted ovum. I had known her on and off in school, and knew her husband. I added her on myspace and then read her blog. I commented on her note about the miscarriage, and invited her here. Apparently she read my blog, and then messaged me. She spoke about how thankful she was that we were going through the same emotions, the same thoughts and feelings...and that reading this, she didn't feel so alone.
Wow. I touched someone. I helped someone through a situation. My pain, my sorrow, helped someone else who is in pain, in sorrow.
The egg sac she will be naturally miscarrying has grown to eight weeks. I miscarried an 8 week baby and egg sac.
You don't get much more God led than that.
I wrote her a very, very long note, and I just pray that I can be of some assistance to her in this excruciatingly difficult experience. She has a wonderful, godly husband, and I know that he will be of great help.
On another note: The holidays were hard... but they were easier than I thought they would be. I slid down the hill by myself RIGHT before leaving to go to Carl's parents, and I was afraid that this would make it a miserable trip. I did have a miserable car ride, and it was emotionally hard. I was DREADING being around so many happy, laughing people. I was dreading being around my three week old nephew. But... once we got there, and I got stretched out... I had a wonderful holiday. I managed to sit up until 5:30 AM with Aaron (the 3 week old) so Mommy and Mamaw could get some MUCH needed sleep. I'm so thankful I was able to do so!!
Please pray for Amber and her husband Daniel as they continue through this miscarriage.
Please pray for Stephanie and her boys, as she's having a hard time, and it was a difficult first holiday season on her own, I'm sure.
Pray for me, as I believe I'm about to have my first AF after the miscarriage.
Isn't it funny how we go from being elated to NOT see blood, to terrified when we DO see blood, to praying to see blood? Oh, the TTC and miscarriage circuit we go...
A few weeks ago, a friend of Carl's and mine's mother emailed us. I had commented on Tammy Nischan's blog, and she had saw it, and it led her here. After reading our journey, she felt led to email us, and did. She proceeded to share a story of pain and heartache, that touched Carl and I deeply. She and her husband have endured 3 miscarriages, and are now attempting to adopt from China. Her email was one of the most moving, beautiful things I have read. Her compassion knows no bounds. I truly believe that our conversations were a healing touch.
Carl brought up the fact that we go through everything in our lives for a reason. It's only when we go through pain and heartache that we can minister to those who are going through pain and heartache. Carl mentioned that maybe one of the reasons that Terri and Tim had their miscarriages was that they could minister to us, a heartbroken couple enduring the same thing.
Well, I just had my very own God moment. Over Christmas, my sister in law, Steph, mentioned that a girl we went to school with had recently had a miscarriage with a blighted ovum. I had known her on and off in school, and knew her husband. I added her on myspace and then read her blog. I commented on her note about the miscarriage, and invited her here. Apparently she read my blog, and then messaged me. She spoke about how thankful she was that we were going through the same emotions, the same thoughts and feelings...and that reading this, she didn't feel so alone.
Wow. I touched someone. I helped someone through a situation. My pain, my sorrow, helped someone else who is in pain, in sorrow.
The egg sac she will be naturally miscarrying has grown to eight weeks. I miscarried an 8 week baby and egg sac.
You don't get much more God led than that.
I wrote her a very, very long note, and I just pray that I can be of some assistance to her in this excruciatingly difficult experience. She has a wonderful, godly husband, and I know that he will be of great help.
On another note: The holidays were hard... but they were easier than I thought they would be. I slid down the hill by myself RIGHT before leaving to go to Carl's parents, and I was afraid that this would make it a miserable trip. I did have a miserable car ride, and it was emotionally hard. I was DREADING being around so many happy, laughing people. I was dreading being around my three week old nephew. But... once we got there, and I got stretched out... I had a wonderful holiday. I managed to sit up until 5:30 AM with Aaron (the 3 week old) so Mommy and Mamaw could get some MUCH needed sleep. I'm so thankful I was able to do so!!
Please pray for Amber and her husband Daniel as they continue through this miscarriage.
Please pray for Stephanie and her boys, as she's having a hard time, and it was a difficult first holiday season on her own, I'm sure.
Pray for me, as I believe I'm about to have my first AF after the miscarriage.
Isn't it funny how we go from being elated to NOT see blood, to terrified when we DO see blood, to praying to see blood? Oh, the TTC and miscarriage circuit we go...
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