Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I've been busy. When I sit down here and try to write out exactly why I suck at blogging, I can't really think of what I've done over the past few days, but I do know I'm EXHAUSTED and that I've been busy.

So, what have I been doing?

I've been googling paint colors and wallpaper patterns for our house we should be getting soon!! I'm SO excited. It wasn't our first choice, but you know what? It was a total God thing, and I'm totally going to go with it. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to make my wonderful sized living room (13x17) not feel SO NARROW.

Oh, and I've also been running around trying to get everything in order so we CAN buy a house. Bank visits, lawyer visits, getting land deeded to us, site inspection for a septic system... Man, I feel like a grown-up or something....

I went to KCU (with Keevia and Carl) yesterday to finish up all the paperwork, interviews and such for me to graduate in May! I'm very excited about this as well! I actually finished all class work in August, but because KCU only has 1 graduation ceremony a year, I walk in May.

I've made, oh, about 50 trips to Wal-mart the past few days. Carl's been working (per usual), and even worked with some family friends on Saturday. I've done a lot of laundry, tried to pick the house up for my Mom, and generally just watching home improvement shows and continually crunching the numbers. I've also been trying to walk a lot, and implement some new eating rules for myself.

That's about all I've done, yet when I read over it, it doesn't seem like that much! Maybe next week things will be calmer, and I can take a breather and write!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Trials and Tribulations

I mentioned in one of my last posts (my long, rambling, completely unsensical last post) that Keevia used to scream at the breast.

Lets rewind and visit some of my breastfeeding trials and tribulations.

Now, to get started, I want to state that the single-most favorite thing about being a Mom (for me) is the breastfeeding. I LOVE how excited she gets now when I pull my breast out, how her little arms wave and she starts making this adorable "ah!ah!ah!" sound. I LOVE how it is her favorite thing in the whole world. I love how it can soothe her when nothing else can. I love that it's a bonding time that she and I have that no one else can have. I love breastfeeding. I dread quitting (and don't plan to until she's 2ish). That being said...

Breastfeeding is not easy. In fact, at times, it's a pain in the rear (or, boob actually). It has been the second hardest thing I have ever done (the first being giving birth, haha), but it's kind of tied with being the most rewarding thing I've ever done!.

When they placed Keevia in my arms, after a few moments of pure bliss, I tried to get her to latch. Mmm... nope, didn't work. Then, the 5 people around me started giving me advice... and she still wouldn't latch. Finally, she latched a little, sucked a few times, and unlatched. Then they wanted to take her for the whole weighing, measuring bit. So I let them.

An hour or so later, it was just me and Carl, alone in the Momma/Baby room with my baby. She had been bathed (and we experienced her first hissy fit), and I decided to try and latch her again. I gathered my trusty boppy pillow, sat up, and snuggled her too me. Finally, it was quiet and calm, and the Stadol they'd given me while in labor (it was that or Pit, and I wouldn't have survived the Pit) had worn off. She latched on the left! She latched on the left!

Then we tried the right. Much more difficult to latch her there. Apparently I have an inverted nipple, and it's at a really weird angle. I finally had to try a football hold to get her situated there.

Do you know how awesome our God is? How amazing he made our bodies? When you give birth, your boobs aren't filled with milk -- it takes a few days to "come in", but your body makes a substance called Colostrum, which is chock-full of vitamins & immunities that your baby needs. And the truly awesome part? Babies only need 1 teaspoon of it per feeding.

I was up most of the night, sitting in the chair, cuddling my wee one, and breastfeeding. In hindsight, I probably should have at least TALKED with the lactation consultant.... but Mom had been one before. They loaded me up with free lanolin cream, and said to call if I needed them.

My nipples started getting sore, but my latch was fine. Keevia nursed like a champ, and we got it down pretty well. I did the prescribed 10 minutes on one side, then I let her go as long as she wanted on the other.

My nipples hated me. HATED me. I would cry when she latched on the right. I developed a milk blister, which is the MOST UNCOMFORTABLE THING IN THE WORLD. Mom had never encountered any of this, and I relied a LOT on Dr. Google. It was either my 2 week post-partum or my 6 week visit that I had my midwife look at it and feel for a clogged duct.

She said I didn't have a clogged duct, but that I did have a milk blister, and to sterilize a needle and gently poke it, which would let the crystallized milk come out. You want me to WHAT my nipple? But, I did it. And then Keevia sucked out the crystallized part, and it slowly, slowly hurt less and less. That side randomly still gets sore, I think because Keevs doesn't latch as well on that side, but its never been truly painful since that time.

I also got these AWESOME cooling gel breast-pads. They suctioned to my boob and helped a ton. The only downside was that you had to wash your nipple before the baby nursed, and um, my baby was a little impatient.

Then, colic hit. And don't let people lie to you...colic is hell. Pure and simple. We used gripe water, we used the swing, we rocked, we jiggled, we bounced, we sang, we laid Keevia in a 'bat girl' position on our laps, we cried with her... it was miserable. What would work one night wouldn't work the next. She started going downhill around 3 pm, and would keep it up until she would fall asleep, exhausted, around 9-12pm. Thankfully, she slept well, otherwise I would have been a zombie.

She also would get EXTREMELY hungry, but not eat. She would SCREAM at the breast, and nothing you could do would get her to nurse. She'd get so worked up, and in such a temper, that she was literally inconsolable. I literally tear up thinking about it. But, we discovered if we put JUST a little Mylicon in her mouth and then immediately put her to the breast, she would nurse. It was like she would get SO hungry and SO mad that my letdown took a bit that it was a vicious cycle. It was around this time that every.single.poop. hurt her. Not just a little hurt her, but she would scream and scream until she pooped (and she only pooped once every day-two days)and then be fine.

On Christmas, we ALL got a stomach bug, and I was soooooooo concerned about a dip in my supply that I ate oatmeal every day to twice a day for about two weeks. Then, one day we saw blood in Keevie's stool. It was like 11pm on a Friday, so I googled it. It was a possible milk allergy, or could be an oversupply. After reading through the oversupply, I decided that was definitely the problem. I simply started nursing her STRICTLY on one side anytime she wanted to nurse in a two-three hour period. Then, I would switch sides. This let her get enough hind-milk (which she wasn't getting before) and kept the foremilk from building up in her intestines and causing pain and gas.

Immediate change in babe. Immediate improvement.

From there... it's been a lot smoother sailing. We're getting in our groove. Who would have thought it would have taken 3-4 months? We can now breastfeed in public, without a cover, without anyone being the wiser. And I couldn't be happier.

I LIVE for those smiles. I LIVE for her pulling back, grinning real big (with milk oozing from the side of her mouth) then her going back and eating again. I love that she nuzzles anyone with boobs, wanting her Momma. I love how she can be screaming in someones arms, and as soon as I get her, she turns and smiles at the person who was holding her. I love her to pieces, and I am so, SO glad I get to breastfeed her, and have the bond that we do.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


So... some time ago (February 27th to be exact)I went poo-less (shampoo that is) and began doing a modified curly girl routine. You can check out my routine at this post.

So, this is just to tell how, almost a month later, my hair is doing.

IT'S WONDERFUL! I haven't used shampoo in a month, yet my hair is the shiniest, softest, strongest it has ever been. I have naturally curly hair. Not cork-screw curls, but pretty curly. I have fought with dry hair for YEARS.

I used to have to wash my hair every other day. Now I can go much longer, and still not have greasy hair. It's FABULOUS. There is no way that if you saw me on the street you would think I didn't use shampoo.

I highly recommend a baking soda wash if you have dandruff, even if you incorporate it with your normal shampoo. It has almost completely rid my hair of dandruff, and I don't get itchy scalp like I used to.

I know use a quarter size amount of Herbal Essence curl gel on my hair. Before I used 2-3 different products and I STILL didn't get the curls I get now. LOVE it.

You can email me if you have questions, but I just wanted to share how excited I am that this works!

Oh, and P.S. If you have long, curly hair. You so need to plop. It makes your hair SO MUCH LESS FRIZZY.

Monday, March 22, 2010


(FIRST: This is my 200th post, 200th POST! Can you believe it? I surely cannot).

I'm fat.

Nuff said.

I was trying to fix that, and then I fell off the bandwagon, and went up to..


Yikes. That pains me to just write that.

But, I'm back on the bandwagon.

I'm eating a good breakfast, a lean cusine lunch, and a healthy dinner.

I've cut out pop (again).

I'm drinking more water.

I'm walking on a regular basis.

I'm not eating sweets (I am, however, eating a teaspoon of Nutella when I have a sweet craving. It's working wonders).

I'm doing this. I WILL WEIGH 180 BY JANUARY 1st 2011!!!

And, this blog, is going to keep me accountable.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Why hello 4 Month Wakeful!

If you had asked me this time last week, I would have told you that I had a wonderful sleeper. Our bedtime routine was a bath at 8 or 8:30, lotion, pj's, bed, boob. She usually nursed to sleep, and stayed in my bed until I came to bed (usually around 11-12). I would then dreamfeed her (as she would wake up just enough to not want paci), then move her to her co-sleeper/pack'n play. She would sleep there until somewhere between 3:30 and 5:30, then come in bed with me and nurse several times until we woke up at 7:30.

I mean seriously, doesn't this sleeping babe look innocent?

However, since Monday. That schedule has been non-existent.

I don't know if its the time change, teething, 4 month wakeful, or a combination of all three... but my previous good sleeper has gone to crap.

We still do the bath routine. And she still nurses down (most nights) but then she wakes up anywhere from 30 minutes to 1 hour after going down. And when she wakes up, she WAKES UP. There is no laying back down with her and nursing ehr back down. She's awake. Usually until 12:30.

Sometimes she won't go down at all, and then, blissfully, is only awake until 10:30-11.

Most nights she sleeps fine once I finally get her down. Last night, I'm not sure what time she woke up, but I do know she nursed around 400 times. She would NOT take paci, and she screamed if the boob wasn't in her mouth.

Finally, around 7ish, she farted really big and then slept peacefully.

I'm at a loss. I also think it's REALLY sad that people start sleep training around this time. My daughter is one who falls in then "increase tension by crying" baby category, so even if I did agree with crying it out (which I so don't), there would be no such thing with her. But she has needs that need to be met right now, even if I don't know for sure what they are, it just makes me sad that people sleep train without meeting those needs.

Okay. She's starting to yawn. Maybe we can lay down and nurse? And maybe I can sleep some between now and 7 am?

Friday, March 19, 2010

Should be working...

I should be doing freelance right now, as my wee babe naps happily in her swing. However, my client hasn't sent me the last batch of essays I need to edit. So, I'm wasting a perfectly good nap, which is uber frustrating.

If I don't have the essays by the time Keevs wakes up, I'm going over and attempting to quilt.

Anyway. That's why I've been absent a lot. A lot of my computer time has been taken up by freelance work. Today is my last day, and honestly, I'm happy about it. If I didn't have a kid, freelance would be super simple, and a good paycheck. But I do have a child, and working when she naps is hard... or trying to get her to sleep at night and then work... still hard. This week, with the time change, Keevie's schedule has been ALL out of sorts, and so working in the evenings has been nearly impossible.

We went for a walk at the park yesterday, and Keevie actually sat in her stroller! We only did one BIG loop (as we didn't want to push it, neither Mom nor I are in shape). When Mom put Keevie in her carseat, she started crying like she wanted to nurse. We were going 1 redlight away to the dollar store, so we went ahead and went.

Once I got her out and started trying to nurse her, she wouldn't latch, she just screamed at the breast. This is something she used to do a LOT, but hadn't been doing it recently. So, I gave up and we went inside to get toilet paper and baby sunglasses. Mom took her from me so I could try to put sunglasses on her, and held her facing out, with her arm across her belly.

She started fussing again a few minutes later, so I took her back. Cue full out, back arching, face screwed up, I'm-so-pissed-off-I-can't-even-cry-or-breath-for-like-15-seconds screamfit. This NEVER happens when Mommy takes her. She is totally and completely a Momma's girl. Normally, if someone has her, and she's screaming/crying, and I take her, she turns and grins at them like 'Look! I got my Mommy!'

So, I took her to the car. She calmed somewhat on the walk out, but once I got in and tried to latch her, she started screaming again. I think where we had been outside, her nose was running (it hasn't ran since then), and it would go down her throat, she'd get chocked/cough, get pissed, scream. I normally give her a taste of Mylicon and then she'll latch on instead of just screaming (impatient much? I have a semi-slow let down, so she doesn't get instant gratification when she latches and it MAKES HER SO MAD!!!), but I didn't have any of her medicine with me. I ended up cracking the sliding door (I didn't wanna expose my entire boob that was flopped out), and then stripping her down to her diaper because she was crying SO HARD that she was sweating. I kept waiting for Momma to come out, and she never did. So, finally, in desperation, I called her and begged her to buy some baby tylenol or mylicon and GET OUT TO THE CAR AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

3 minutes later, we got a dose of tylenol down Keevie, and she started nursing. Sort of. She would still pull off and scream for a minute, then go back. Finally, Momma took her, wrapped her in a blanket, and walked around the parking lot. She burped three HUGE times, and then was all 'Oh, hi Mom! You're so pretty. Oh, I'm going to smile at you... oh, I love you, hi!!'. So, I threw a onesie on her, and we headed home.

I knew she was overtired, and once we got home, I nursed her down for an hourish nap, and then she was fine! Like nothing ever happened.

Of course... she also didn't go to sleep until 12:30 last night. I'm sick (sinus infection? Cold? who knows) and had planned on going to bed around 9 (which, if you know me in real life, you just fell over in your chair)when I nursed Keevie down... nope, didn't happen.

Alright, now that I've written a completely useless, senseless post about our drama yesterday, I'm going to play with my just-waking-up-baby (whom I may or may not have woken up with my impression of a canadian goose).

Monday, March 15, 2010

This past weekend, Carl, Keevia and I spent some time with family. While there, the septic system went kaput. As our toilet, we had a 5 gallon bucket with a toilet seat on top.

Now, I'm a true country girl. I've used an outhouse on several occasions. I'm not that squeamish... but the smell of that 5 gallon bucket was bad enough to knock you over!

We really started feeling sorry for ourselves. We tried to make ourselves feel better by saying "Well, you have to do what you have to do" all the while grumbling to ourselves. We sort of acted like this was the worst thing that could have happened.

It got me to thinking... A septic system is not a necessity. It's a luxury. Yes, I just went there. Electricity isn't a necessity, it's a luxury. Running water isn't a necessity, it's a luxury... yet all of these things are things we think of as "must haves". When our electric goes out, we whine and complain and talk about how horrible the electric company is... we get mad because our electric isn't on. Same thing with the water, or with a septic system. We feel like we HAVE to have them.

We didn't have any of these things until around 150 years ago. Many, many parts of the world still don't have them. Yet, we feel like we're entitled to them.

One of my favorite Christian bloggers, MckMama (that's her pen name, her real name is Jennifer Mckinley) recently went to Kenya on a missions trip and blogged the entire trip as it happened. She had an eye-opening experience and got the opportunity to share it with her blog followers. While she was there she saw poverty and destitution like we in America can only dream about. They live it.

I think we all take our luxuries for granted. We think they are always supposed to be there, and when they aren't, we get livid. We feel entitled to things that some people have never even experienced. So, the next time your electric goes out, you are on a boil water advisory, or your toilet stops working, remember that these things are luxuries, not necessities. You WILL get through it. You WILL survive without TV, without internet, without a toilet... many people all over the world survive with a lot less.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Reason's I'm Absent

In bulleted form, because I have no energy to do more...

- Last Thursday we went to Richmond and packed up the apartment. It took Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning due to our allergies in that place.
- Saturday we moved.
-Sunday we had church. I did freelance.
- Monday Keevia had a chiro appointment, then Mom and I went back to Richmond and cleaned the apartment.
- Tuesday we spoke to the bank and the trailer company and went to Wal-mart.
- Today, I should have done my freelance stuff earlier. But I didn't. So I'm doing it now. At 11 pm, when I can barely hold my eyelids open.
- I'm working my first freelance job. Did I mention that? I'm grading essays for a professor in Australia. Yes, I know that's odd.
- Keevia is teething, and isn't too happy about it.
- Her naps are wonky, I know it's partially because we've been traveling so much, and partially because of teething.
- I am worn out.
- Mom and I are currently trying to fit all of our stuff that doesn't fit in our 10x15 storage unit in our house.
- I am having to wash that came from our apartment because of the allergens on it.
- Keevs is teething. I mentioned that, right?
- I cleaned out my closet today.
- I did 7 loads of laundry.
- I wake up at 7 and go to bed at midnight.
- We're going to see the other grandparents this weekend, and I have to pack.
- My head feels like its going to explode because I have three... THREE more essays to correct tonight.
- I think this stopped making sense about 6 bulleted posts ago.
- I'm going back to grading papers now...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Moving on...

Teething sucks. Just in case you didn't know. It kills me that she's in pain and there's not anything I can do to "fix" it other than let it ride its course.

I did my first freelance job today, and I'm terrified to turn it in. It's a little out of my comfort zone, and I'm just scared that the client is going to hate it. Thankfully, he seems really nice and we should be able to work it out. The website is being a dirty word though, and not letting me upload the documents I need.

Mom and I have to go and pack up my apartment sometime soon, and I am dreading it. I HATE packing. I also am not looking forward to trying to pack with a super clingy, teething, 4 month old. But, hopefully, this will be the last time. I really don't understand people who buy a home, to turn around and buy a new home a few years later in the same town. If you have to move for work or something, that's understandable... but just to buy a starter home, and then a new home a few years later? Not for me!

Alright. Keevia woke up from her (short) nap, so I've gotta get her. Happy Wednesday!

Oh Sooooophieeee...

You may not see very much of me for the next few days.

I got my first freelance job, Mom and I are going to the apartment to pack it up, and the main reason?

My 4 month old is teething.

And not just any teeth. Oh no, my daughter has to be difficult and teeth her incisors. Which, if what I read is correct, are supposed to come in last.

Way to be different Keevia!

I'm convinced my child is a vampire (haha!). She loves the dark as much as I do, she likes to lay with her head hanging upside down, and now her vampire teeth are trying t come in!

I don't know if they'll break through the surface, or if its just them moving down. They are definitely swollen and sore. It's soooo sad/funny when she bites down on something, she jumps, then bites down again, then jumps again. I just wanna hug her.

Definitely ordering some Hylands teething tablets asap.

Until then, Sophie the Giraffe and my finger are getting a workout.

Oh, PS and possibly TMI-

My nipples hurt SO badly. I think she's changed her latch while teething, and the fact that she wants to nurse about 2-3 times an hour because of the teething...Oy vey, they hurt... but it is the best feeling IN THE WORLD when she's crying, and fussing, and just generally feels bad, then she snuggles up to Momma and begins to nurse... I love it more than anything, even through the pain! I'm so glad I'm able to offer her this comfort. Off to try and find my Lanolin cream though, before they get worse!

Monday, March 1, 2010

4 Month Letter

Dear Keevia,

Today you are 4 months old. You're 1/3 of a year. That blows your Mommy's mind. I want to bottle you up and keep you this age forever, yet, I can't wait to see the woman you'll become.

Some stats on where you are today:
- For your Four Month Appointment, which came 10 days early because of Thrush, you were 12 lbs, 5 oz. You were 24 1/2 inches long, and had a head circumference of 17 1/2 inches. You are in the 50th percentile for height, 25th for weight, and your head is still off the charts!
- You still wear size one diapers, and don't look like you're going to move up anytime soon!
- You are still firmly in 3-6 month clothes. Some look REALLY big on you, and some are too short.
- You got thrush a few weeks ago, but have bounced back wonderfully.
- You've had tastes of apples, grapes, and ice cream... but we're holding off on "real" solids until you're six months old.
- You do show quite a bit of interest in what I'm eating, even to the point of grunting though!
- You can sit up 95% of the way completely by yourself. You still topple over easily, but we're getting there!
- You've rolled over once, but I'm convinced it was a complete accident.
- You still love your bouncy seat, and tolerate your swing on odd occasions.
- You love your Clara doll (bought for you by Clara, hence the name) and Sophie the Giraffe
- You are SUCH a Momma's girl! If I'm not in sight you start melting down, but as long as you can see me, you calm down. You'll let Daddy take you and snuggle with you, and Mamaw or Papaw occasionally... but you definitely prefer your Momma.
- You have 2 tooth buds, and as odd as it sounds, they're your upper eyeteeth!
- You do not know a stranger. You smile, coo, giggle, and squeal at everyone.
- You still love to be worn, which Mommy loves too!
- Still not the biggest fan of the carseat, although you will fall asleep in there occasionally now!
- You babble ALL THE TIME!!! You "talk" more than any baby I have ever seen!
- You love music.Any music. If we talk to you, it has to be sing-song. You just break out in the biggest grin whenever you are sung too. In fact, Mommy can't sing you lullabies because you end up smiling and laughing.
- You still start out most nights in your baby bed, and usually sleep until around 3-5! You're a sleep rockstar!
- Bathtime is, by far, your favorite time of the day. Whether it's a sink bath or a shower with Mommy, you get SO excited when we start striping you off naked! You LOVE being naked!

Keevia, I love you more and more each day. Your personality lights up my heart, and I LOVE spending time with you. I hate that you're growing up, but I love it as well. It's such a bittersweet thing. I can't wait to watch you grow, but I mourn each piece of clothing you outgrow.

I cherish each smile, each coo, each snuggle. I cry with you when you feel bad, and feel better when you do.

Your Daddy and I love you very, very much Keevia. We pray for you nightly (or, at least I assume Daddy does). I love you sweet girl.

Love, Momma


*bangs head against computer screen*

The reason so many Government Student Loans are in Default?


Please excuse me while I find someone to throttle.