Thursday, January 29, 2009

You have your good days...

... and your not so good days. This would be a not so good day.

I don't know what the deal with me is. I've almost burst into tears several times today. It was a fairly easy day, I woke up at 10:30ish, got up, had breakfast, lounged around the apartment, went and worked out, came back, cooked dinner, took a shower, and now I'm lounging some more... but you know what? Today has just sucked.

Grey's was even a freaking rerun.

I've been reading some blogs... one is in the Caribbean, and one is recently pregnant. I would LOVE to be where they are right now... and I just can't be. It's hard.

I so do not want to wait until April to try again. I also don't want to be giving birth in November with a month of school left. Plus, being in Feast would be out of the question.

Also, you know the NY trip I was all fine with not going on? Well, their going to my top pick of Broadway show (The Little Mermaid) and that just sucks too.

My husband is addicted to video games, which means I get no tv time. This sucks as well.

I worked out today.. that counts towards life not sucking, right?

Right... but it means its REALLY going to suck when I can't move in the morning.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Lars and the Real Girl

Wow. This is a weird movie, but an absolutely fabulous one. It's basically about a man who falls in love with a sex toy... but it is so much more than that!

Lars is a young man who has lost both of his parents. His mother died when he was born, and his father passed away a little while back. Lars lives in the garage of his parents house, and his brother Gus and sister in law Karin live in his parents house. Karin is expecting their first child.

Lars is a hermit. He's 27 years old, and he basically goes to work and comes home. Karin is concerned about him and tries to get him over for dinner and such. As a defense mechanism to the world, he buys a sex doll, names her Bianca and treats her like a real person.

He gets her clothes and a wheelchair. He has Bianca live with Gus and Karin, as it wouldn't be proper for her to live with him. After a meeting with the local doctor and psychologist, they discover that it's just something he will have to outgrow. They have a community meeting (basically a church meeting) to see whats going to be done. After some argument, the preacher poses a simple question. What Would Jesus Do?

The rest of the movie is about acceptance and moving on. The entire community embraces Bianca, and in turn Lars. They talk to her through Lars, and eventually begin talking to her without going through Lars.

After several months, Lars decides he doesn't need Bianca anymore... and, well... you'll have to rent it. :)

Seriously, it is a wonderful movie. It has great values. There's no harsh language in it what so ever. The only offensive material is that it is a sex doll. However, no sexual things take place.

I highly recommend this movie! It goes a little slow in places, but overall it's wonderful!

Did you like this movie review? I love writing them, and would love to have an ongoing movie review section! What do y'all think?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Ugh again.

I have a headache. I got up at eight something to check on the status of my 9:25 class. We had a two hour delay, which means any class before 10 is canceled. I went back to bed until 10.

For some reason though, I feel very icky and have a headache. I only had chapel at 11, then I brought Soren home and put him straight in his porta-crib. He was out before we made it halfway home from chapel. He slept till two, then took a bottle, then slept again. He didn't feel good in the least. While he was sleeping, I did dishes and two loads of laundry and cooked. I still need to vacuum and sort clothes in the bedroom. I hate hanging up clothes.

We have another two hour delay tomorrow, which doesn't effect me at all....I don't have class until 1. I'm crossing my fingers that Dr. Stepp cancels theology for all those poor, pitiful commuter students.

I think I'm going to finish watching The Mentalist, take a shower, and hit the hay!

Oh! We got our school refunds back today... Carl's is going straight back to the loan company, but mine is going towards our trip to Rhode Island! I am SO excited!!

We still need to watch Lars and the Real Girl has anyone seen it? Is it good? It's the Netflix movie we have right now, and we haven't gotten around to watching it as of it. Ho-hum!

I'm going to try and take some Winter Wonderland pictures tomorrow, and hopefully get my GPS! (Not that I could use it mind you, it's too freaking icy and snowy!)

Monday, January 26, 2009

GreAT day!

Man, has it been a good day!

I almost added this to the Not ME! post, but decided it deserved its very own.

First: We sold Carl's mustang today! This is a HUGE praise!!!!!!!!!!!! We've been trying to sell it since this summer. When we pulled into my parents driveway this weekend, Carl goes "I'm just going to sell it to the guy in town" well, the guy in town wasn't offering us what we wanted for it... so I said "Well, lets actively try to sell it again, and if nothing pans out from that, then we'll sell it to the guy in town."

WE GOT A PHONE CALL AN HOUR LATER! We sold it for the price we wanted. We never tried to do it actively, we just went in the house! GOD IS GOOD!

Second: I GOT MY PERIOD!!!!!!!!!!!

Third: We sold Carl's drumset today!!! Another $520! GOD IS GREAT!!

Good day, very, very good day.

Please continue to pray for baby Harper! She's doing much better! I'll post a link on the side later!!

HAVE A GREAT rest of the monday!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

P.S. If you have never read MckMama's blog... go do so now. And start with Tantrums 101 by Smallfry. If you have any experience with small children, you will LOVE this!

My Not Me! Monday is as follows:
I certainly did not have 2 other couples over for dinner last week, fix chicken ala king, and while trying to brown the biscuits, put it on the top rack of the stove and scrap off the top layer of biscuits on the broiler... nope, not me!

I most definitely did not spend every day last week writing a paper because I had put them off for two weeks. Nope, not me!

I didn't spend all weekend goofing off because I finally got those papers done, when I have a presentation and 8 chapters of a book to read... not me!

and I am MOST certainly not sitting at work writing a Not ME! Monday post!!!

Head over to MckMama's blog and check out her, and everyone else's Not Me Monday posts!! You'll get a laugh, I promise!

A little bout moi

I filled this out as a "tagged" note on facebook, but I thought I'd post it here as well! For anyone who doesn't know me IRL, this will give you a little background :)

1. I love my vegtables. I crave them, and I get very upset when I don't have them... but I cannot, under any circumstances, stand pees. Or celery. Ew.

2. I used to write Backstreet Boy fan fiction, and Vin Diesel. I still write the Vin Diesel sometimes :)

3. I would probably take someone out to meet Kristen Chenoweth in person. Or any member of BSB.

4. I'm currently driving my dream car. I absolutely love my Ford Focus.

5. When I was about 10-12 years old, I began planning my wedding. When I got married, I didn't include a single thing from my childhood dream.

6. My dream job would be decorating/designing baby nurseries. Or weddings.

7. I one day want to own a used bookstore/cafe that features made from scratch healthy seasonal foods.

8. I own all four seasons of Lois and Clark the New Adventures of Superman.

9. I have cried at cat food commercials before. As pathetic as that is, I'm still glad I have the amount of compassion I have...even though it breaks my heart at times.

10. I wanted to be a nurse for the longest time, until one year, at the honey festival, an older gentleman got hurt. My mom (who is a nurse) jumped in and began taking care of him until the paramedics got there (and even after they WERE there she helped). I was merely in charge of crowd control... and I almost broke down. I was sobbing because he was in so much pain. I knew from then on that nursing was NOT for me.

11. I am pretty freakin knowledgeable about a lot of medical things however. I read. A lot.

12. During my sophomore year of college I took spinning lessons and learned how to spin my own yarn. That summer my Momma bought me a spinning wheel. I absolutely love doing it, it's so very calming and stress relieving... I just wish I had more TIME to do it.

13. Other than owning a bookstore and maybe someday writing a novel.... my entire life goal is to be a mommy to a baby I can hold in my arms.

14. I love children. Especially small children. I love babysitting them... at EKU I babysat 6 under the age of 12 by myself. I loved it.

15. I'm absolutely obbsessed with reading chick lit. But just the absolutely pointless feel good chick lit. Not anything with substance, that's too much like homework.

16. I love to cook... and I love to bake... I'm much more successful at cooking than I am baking...although except for the last cake I made, I've been a very successful baker recently!

17. My dream day is sleeping late, getting up and taking a big bubble bath (in a bigger tub than we own) , having coffee brought to me in the tub, a relaxing massage, then curling up in my comfy pj's in front of a fire, or curling up in front of the tv and not having to cook, clean, wash dishes, do laundry or do homework all day long!

18. I sometimes think that you need a passport to come to ky.... and I'm ok with that. I'm in love with our heritage and our way of life.

19. I love scarves....sometimes a little too much.

20. As pale as I usually am... if you get me out in the sun very much...woo!!! Go look at my myspace pictures to see... you could see it when I went to the bahamas!

21. I love doing outdoor stuff, even though no one *coughmyhusbandcough* believes me. This past summer the library staff went canoeing and I LOVED it. The like 2 times I've went four wheeling, I loved that too. I adore fishing. I love nature hikes... I'm so excited to start geocaching!

22. I absolutely love to paint, draw, take pictures, crochet, knit, spin, read, sing, watch movies, quilt, cross stitch, dance, read more, cuddle, read more and sleep.

23. I have insomnia... but it's not regular enough to be a real problem. However, there are weeks when I might get 2-4 hours of sleep a night, and feel more energized than I have in a while.

24. I've been to NY, San Fransisco, taken a car all the way to Phoenix, been to the Bahama's, Saint Louis, Georgia 3 times, Florida... and I want to do MORE!!! I can't wait til our trip to RI this spring break!

25. I cannot wait to be pregnant again, but I'm trying to be as patient as possible... when that special time comes however, I will be absolutely petrified. The miscarriage was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but one of the most spiritually rewarding. I've been able to touch so many lives through the miscarriage, and I am eternally grateful for that. However, that said, I never want to have to go through it again... and I will be petrified even after 12 weeks, I know.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Insomnia and Sinus Infections

I think that one of the crappiest feelings in the world (other than miscarrying) is insomnia. I deal with this a LOT... but the last two weeks have been close to unbearable!!! I FREAK OUT on Monday and Wednesday nights, because I have to get up for a 9:25 class the next morning...and for some reason I don't think I'll make it. So, even if i go to bed at a decent hour, I spend the ENTIRE NIGHT drifting in and out of sleep. My brain won't shut off. I'm in this weird dream/awake thing all night long.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, to top it all off. I have a sinus infection. It's not a bad one, but the headaches from sleep deprivation and sinus pressure is about to get the better of me.

Anybody got any good remedies? I'm going to the chiropractor (who is my lifesaver) tomorrow, and she always helps. Anyone got any other suggestions?

I'll try just about anything!

Thursday, January 22, 2009


I've charted 3 days now, and for whatever reason, it didn't count the first day, then I threw out this mornings because I woke up an hour before i checked it and kind of dozed.

Prayer and Pain

I have two things to write about today. The first is very, very important. The second is not.

Please, please, please pray urgently for a little girl named Melila. We got a report from a friend of her family today that she as leukemia. She is the daughter of my husband and my former youth minister. In fact, her parents took Carl and I on our first "date" our freshman year of high school. She (Melila) came to our wedding, which was the first time I met her. When they were sitting in the church, before all the festivities began, she turned to her mom and asked "Where are all the princesses mommy?" Later, she got a rose from someone and carried it around for the rest of the day. I kid you not, she is undoubtably the cutest little girl in the world.

Her parents have been preparing for several years now to make a permanent move to Bulgaria to minister to the gypsies.

Please pray that the source we heard from was incorrect. Or, if they were correct, that it is a very minor form of leukemia.

Second, and completely trivial in comparison....

I tried to break and mutilate my toe while babysitting today. I stubbed my toe on the couch, and through the searing pain, I kept going.. until i realized my sock was red at the pinkie toe. After closer examination, I noticed that despite the fact that it had gone numb... it was definitely not uninjured.

I managed to possibly break it, AND rip about a dime sized amount of skin off the tip of it. G-R-OSS.

If I knew how to post my chart, I would. It's entertaining. I promise.

Thats all. One more paper.

Monday, January 19, 2009

i feel gross

I feel gross. I feel icky. I feel like I want to puke.

I think I'm getting a sinus infection. I'm very headachy and nauseous. And if I close my eyes, the room spins.

I'm also have problems with regularity, if you get my drift. But those are common. Irritable Bowel Syndrome is the bane of mine (and the rest of my families, I think) existence. We were so stressed out over Carl's financial situation that I've been having problems.

On that front, Carl's in school with everything paid for. Now we just have to reject his Student Loan that was in excess of $2000. We don't need to take out that much loan if its not needed, especially since its unsubsidized. I need to look up how much we're going to be in debt when we get out, cuz I know its going to be close to $20,000 if he takes another 2-2 1/2 years.

That scares me, quite frankly. We are pooooor. I don't see us getting any richer anytime soon. I'm trying this Etsy thing, and I'm going to cross my fingers that it works. I'd love to make some serious dough and be able to stay home after I graduate. Mainly because I'd like to have a wee one shortly after I graduate.

I'm trying to research a paper that I am unsure of the due date on, I know its either tomorrow (I hope not!), Thursday, or next Tuesday. I'm thinking it's next Tuesday, because the date of the 27th seems to stick out to me. Let's cross our fingers. It's supposed to be the history of "The Desert Fathers" and I have no idea how to find this history. Oh well, I'll prevail. :)

Alright, research then bed.

Sunday, January 18, 2009


Ever since we first miscarried, I began thinking about the next time we get pregnant. I have always been a strong believer in not finding out the sex of the baby. I always said I wanted to be surprised. I truly believe that I would have strongly carried that desire throughout the entire pregnancy had I been given the chance.

However, having lost a baby, and not ever really knowing if it were a boy or a girl... I think I've changed my viewpoint.

I believe that, if God wills, we get to the point in time in our next pregnancy where we can find out if we're having a blue bundle or a pink bundle... I believe I will have to say Yes please!

I also don't know what I plan to do about telling people next time. One one hand, I want to wait until we're past the magic 12 week mark... but on the other hand, I want my family and friends to love my baby for as long as we have it... we only had this one for 8 weeks (10 weeks before we knew we'd lost it), but it was already shown so very much love! Everyone we knew were not only congratulating us, but rubbing my still small belly...trying to love on our miracle. I don't know if I can deny our next miracle that experience.

Blair, of The Heir to Blair, stated that she wouldn't not share her next pregnancy because of this loss, and I truly agree with her. So... next time we get knocked up, will we tell the world right away? We didn't do to good of a job of keeping it quiet this time... will we find out the sex of the baby? Probably (especially cuz husband wanted to SO badly last time...). And I'm okay with that. Next time, no matter what happens, we'll be ok.

Edward Landon will be here eventually, or (fill in the 78 girls names we have chosen(not quite, but close!)) will be here eventually. As upsetting as it is to think of Thanksgiving, when we would have had a 4-5 month old, and Christmas, where there would have been 4 grandchildren... It's ok. I pray we're pregnant by Christmas... a safe, solid, sticking pregnancy.

And, no matter what... we'll make it through!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Shameless Plug

Wanna see my photography?

Better yet....wanna buy some?

CLICK HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shameless plug is over. A post of actual substance will follow soon.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

oh... my rocking chair

I started babysitting a nine-month old, Soren, today. I am extrodinarily thankful that Carl and I decided to take his parents red glider, even though we lost the pregnancy.It made my life insurmountably easier today.

I babysit from 12-2 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I love it! We're still getting used to one another, but he's a very good baby! I need to clean out the office, as his parents are talking about giving us a porta-crib for him. I have the perfect place for it!

I need to clean the apartment. It was so pretty, but Carl and I aren't good at KEEPING it pretty. We need to work on that. Plus, we never officially "finished" it. So that needs to take place as well. Oh well, it'll come in time!

Off to and finishing my first Hamlet paper!


Wednesday, January 14, 2009



I think I have my schedule finalized. And you know what? It's pretty flippin' sweet. I have 1 class a day. Please view my schedule:

Theology 1 PM-2:15PM

Masterpieces of Christian Thought 9:25-10:45 AM
Chapel 11-12 AM
Work 1-4 PM

Theology 1PM-2:15PM

Masterpieces of Christian Thought 9:25-10:45 AM
Work 12-4 PM

Chapel 11 AM-12 Noon
Drawing 1-2:30 PM

PLUS: World Religions Independent Study

GOODNESS I love my semester!!

Stay in prayer for Carl. He's attending all his classes, yet he isn't technically registered for them. His financial information will come through any day now, and we'll know what we're doing.

Also, we tried to get the $800 we had put in to the NYC trip back, as there was NO WAY we could come up with the other $1125 that we owe. But, there's no way to get it back. So, we're going to transfer all of that money into Carl's account and then we'll only owe $165. I cried a little bit over it last night, but I know it's the right decision. We're going to take the $419 we get back from me dropping choir and go visit my MOH, Julie in Providence, RI. I think it's going to be a much better trip. We're going to be able to go to RI for almost a week on HALF of what it would cost us to go to NYC for 3 days. Plus, there's so much rehearsing that we wouldn't have time to explore the city like last time. I'm super excited about Spring break now! We just need to borrow someone's GPS device...

I still have 3 papers to write for my J-term class, one of which I hope to accomplish today! Other than that, I'm KIND of off the hook. I plan on accomplishing all three papers on my three day weekend (we get off for MLK day...which we never have before...weird) then I can concentrate on the HUGE amount of work I'll have do for Theology and MCT.

Please, PLEASE be in prayer for Julie and Noah Roberts. Their daughter, Magdalena Grace passed away yesterday morning. She was diagnosed inutero with Trisomy 18, and had survived for around 5 months. Still, her death was sort of sudden, and I can't begin to even fathom the pain that their family is going through. You can read their blog here. And learn more about Trisomy 18 here.

I've never met this family, yet my heart grieves for them. I had been reading about Magdalena for a few months now, and I cried when I found out she had died. She had such a sweet face, and looked to have the sweetest disposition. Julie and Noah truly celebrated her life. It was a beautiful life story, even though it was so tragically short.

Love ya,

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

When it rains, it pours... but look for the silver lining!

Wow... what a couple of days. Carl has gotten the appeal he needed (YAY!) but now gets no financial aid (BOO!) So... he's going to appeal the financial aid, and then we'll go from there.

Worst Case Scenario:

He doesn't get the appeal, and we don't find out about it until after registration for KCTCS for the spring semester, and he has to take a summer class.

We can DO THIS! We just gotta have faith.

PRAY for:

Financial aid for me...everything comes out.
Money enough for both of us to go to Lincoln Center
Peace for the situation
Strength for me for the remainder of this week
Strength for cleaning the apartment. ITS A MESS!

I'm doing pretty well in the class I'm taking. It's long days, 6 hours in class. But, I'd love to be able to do classes a week at a time and get them OVER WITH!!

I have insomnia REALLY bad right now... I'm up until 4-5 every night. I slept a little bit better last night, but not a lot... I have to get up at 8 for the class. I pray this gets better next week!

My classes are straightened out. I'll now have:

12:00-12:50 Seminar: American Christianity
1-2:15 Theology
1-2:30 Drawing

9:30-10:45 World Religions

I have Chapel from 11-12 on Tuesdays and Fridays, and I have choir Monday-Thursday. I also have to work 7 hours, gag.

If Carl can't get back in KCU he's going to try and get a better job somewhere, to add to the youth ministry position, and pick up a class or two from the surrounding community colleges.

We're both at peace with this right now. It may get worse... I still feel like the world is falling in around us, with the miscarriage, and now this. It seems like the beginnings of the month don't work out to great for us... but... we'll make it.

In better news: WE'VE MADE FRIENDS! There was a very cute couple, Rachel and Marcus who moved into our apartment building yesterday. They've been married a week. We had them over for dinner last night, and they had US over for dinner tonight. I'm super excited to have someone in married housing who loves Broadway musicals and cross stitching! This is gonna be great!

I'm going to wait for my tylenol to kick in, then try and tackle the Office/Nursery...there are boxes EVERYWHERE in there.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Go me!

Ah! Celebration! I finished Hamlet. It took me the majority of the day, but it is done!

I'm apprehensive about heading back to school tomorrow. The thought of jumping back into the drudgery of classes makes me want to cry. Plus, I need to clean the apartment, clean out the fridge, and try to organize more. We're taking back a glider (it's going to be rough, not going to lie... but it will give me a quiet place to read...which I'm very happy about), 2 bookcases and 2 green totes that are to help me store things. The apartment is about the same size as my parents house, minus 1 bedroom... but I have no storage whatsoever. Three large closets, but its hard to just stuff things in there! Plus, I have SO many books.... its insane.

We're taking Mom's van to make sure all the loot gets there... then I can bring back the Rainbow vacuum cleaner and have MUCH MUCH more room in the coat closet. That excites me. I was going to clean the office/nursery and our bedroom... but now I'll just let it lie. They cleaned them when we moved in, and I still have my regular vacuum cleaner.

Ugh... I have so much packing to do... however, Pretty Woman looks much more enticing right now...

Friday, January 2, 2009


Please be in prayer, as the next week - week and a half is going to be an extrodinarily stressful one. Carl just got an email saying he went from academic probation to suspension. We haven't been back to campus to check our mail since we left for break, so neither of us have checked our grades. Oh, how I wish for EKU where we could check our grades online!

So, pray for wisdom and pray for guidance. There are powers working, and I pray that they continue to do so! We're trying to remain strong!

I'm having issues with classes as well, I'm signed up to take:

Theology - Dr. Stepp
Humanities of the Western Culture - Dr. Starr
World Religions - Dr. Hawkins
Concert Choir - D.
Drawing - Don't remember

I require 9 hours of theology classes, as well as 3 hours of art appreciation to graduate. Woot Woot!!! The Humanities class was actually going to be taken as a substitution for Arts Appreciation, but according to our registrar, since I had that class at Eastern, it would only be a "re-take." I got a B in that class, thankyouverymuch. I have no desire to take it again to get a higher grade! So, Kim Turpin and I talked (well, emailed) and I think I'm going to drop Humanities and pick up

Seminar: American's Christianity - Dr. Durst

That way, next fall, I would have 7 hours, a Theology elective and a art appreciation elective, and concert choir. Woot Woot!

I still haven't read Hamlet, I'm settling down to do that as soon as I post this.

Mom and I cleaned out our shed today (well, a corner of the shed) so that we could have some book cases at the apartment. I had to go through 233,231,124,647,2477 books, but I made a few interesting discoveries:

1. I will never have to buy my elementary and jr. high children books. I have 2 HUGE boxes of just random books, then a box for all Animorph books, another for Babysitter Club, another for Replica, another for Boxcar Children, another for Little House books, another for Nancy Drew, and another for Mandie books.

2. I posted about 60 books to my account!

3. I really read way, way too much!

Alright, enough procrastination. Hamlet, here I come *whimpers*