Thursday, April 14, 2011

I had a panic attack yesterday.

Well, not really, but very, very close.

If you've followed me for any time, you know I'm struggling with PCOS right now. I'm not new to this, I've had it since I was about 15. It got really bad in college, I went to a OB/GYN in Lexington and was placed on Metaformin (Glucophage) for 3 months. I went off of it before I got married, and got pregnant twice without any issues (even without trying!). No issues with the pregnancy.

When I was half-way through my pregnancy, I switched from an OB to a Midwife. From 20 weeks on I saw a wonderful midwife, M. I saw her at every appointment and we were right on the same page. I went into the hospital on a Wednesday and she was on call! I got everything I wanted with my birth plan (eat and drink freely, intermediate monitoring, freedom of movement), but hadn't delivered by the time she went off call. Another midwife, S, came on call and ended up delivering Keevia. She was FANTASTIC. I had no ripping or tearing. She was just rock-star!

So, today, I finally broke down and called my clinic to get an appointment with either M or S. I've seen both of them since having Keevia, but haven't been in about a year. My hormones are SO out of whack right now. I'm  a weepy mess. My acne is horrible. My facial hair (yes, it sucks) is out of control. I'm bloated. I'm depressed. I'm miiiiiiiserable. And my frame (pelvis/neck) will NOT stay in at the chiropractor. This is something that has never happened before. I usually go out really bad and then get put back together and I'm fine. My pelvis has been out for about 2 1/2 weeks now. She keeps getting it balanced and it keeps going back out.

Tuesday night, on the way back from a Super Wal-Mart trip, my breastbone started hurting. It got EXCRUTIATING. I couldn't sleep. Yesterday I went into the chiropractor and not one, not two, but FOUR of my ribs were "popped". She put them back in, and one almost automatically went back out. My pelvis was also out. As was my L3 Vertebrae. My body is trying to tell me something is going on.

So I called my Women's Health office and spoke with the receptionist. After explaining my woes, she said she'd put me on the line to a Nurse Practioner to discuss my symptoms... then she dropped the bombshell. "The Nurse Practioner will speak to you because both M and S left the practice in January."

My heart stopped. NO!!!!!!!!!!!! Not BOTH my midwives! The receptionist told me a city that both of them had relocated to.

"Not a big deal" I told myself, I'll just call the hospital I was born at. They're EXTREMELY midwife friendly!

So I called when I got home. They are no longer doing deliveries of any kind and have no midwives of staff.

Then, I googled M's name and the city and found my gold-mine. She and S have opened their own practice. I called and got an appointment. My panic immediately reduced.

Maybe I'll get to normal sometime soon.


  1. Thank you lord for Miss M and Miss S, sending positive thoughts and prayers your way Shaina!!!

  2. Maybe it's too early in the morning for me...but what is PCOS? I'll have to look that up. Anyway, glad to hear that you located your two favorite midwives! I used the same midwife with my last 3 deliveries, so I know how it can be to get comfortable and attached to someone who was so wonderful during an event so profound as the birth of your child. Good luck getting to the bottom of what's going on regarding your health. Feeling good is SO important. I woke up yesterday with body aches and a bit of congestion, and it just threw off my whole day. I can't imagine feeling bad all the time. Some people have chronic pain, need pain management and all heart goes out to those people, because even when I just have a head cold, I'm miserable.

  3. Hey chick I try to keep up to date with what is going on for you and my heart goes out to you. I know that you probably think I am crazy 9/10 of the time but that still doesn't change the fact that I am here for you and if you need me I am a text or a phone call away.Depression ain't no joke it has kicked my butt a few times, and anxiety isn't a fun experience either. Let me know when I can bring Xay over to spend time with Keevia. Maybe we can catch up?


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