Sunday, January 18, 2009


Ever since we first miscarried, I began thinking about the next time we get pregnant. I have always been a strong believer in not finding out the sex of the baby. I always said I wanted to be surprised. I truly believe that I would have strongly carried that desire throughout the entire pregnancy had I been given the chance.

However, having lost a baby, and not ever really knowing if it were a boy or a girl... I think I've changed my viewpoint.

I believe that, if God wills, we get to the point in time in our next pregnancy where we can find out if we're having a blue bundle or a pink bundle... I believe I will have to say Yes please!

I also don't know what I plan to do about telling people next time. One one hand, I want to wait until we're past the magic 12 week mark... but on the other hand, I want my family and friends to love my baby for as long as we have it... we only had this one for 8 weeks (10 weeks before we knew we'd lost it), but it was already shown so very much love! Everyone we knew were not only congratulating us, but rubbing my still small belly...trying to love on our miracle. I don't know if I can deny our next miracle that experience.

Blair, of The Heir to Blair, stated that she wouldn't not share her next pregnancy because of this loss, and I truly agree with her. So... next time we get knocked up, will we tell the world right away? We didn't do to good of a job of keeping it quiet this time... will we find out the sex of the baby? Probably (especially cuz husband wanted to SO badly last time...). And I'm okay with that. Next time, no matter what happens, we'll be ok.

Edward Landon will be here eventually, or (fill in the 78 girls names we have chosen(not quite, but close!)) will be here eventually. As upsetting as it is to think of Thanksgiving, when we would have had a 4-5 month old, and Christmas, where there would have been 4 grandchildren... It's ok. I pray we're pregnant by Christmas... a safe, solid, sticking pregnancy.

And, no matter what... we'll make it through!


  1. Hello.. I came across your blog thru someone I just can't remember. I too miscarried... I was 12 weeks but baby was only 8 wks in utero. I had seen Nehemiah in utero at about 7wks 5days and I was able to see him move and also a heartbeat. At my 12wk appt. there was no heartbeat and our baby was measuring around the same time I had seen it at my 7wk 5d. It was hard and IS still hard. I lost Nehemiah on March 22, 2008. I too wanted to experience a Thanksgiving & Christmas in 08 but that is not what the Lord had planned. We are TTC'ing again but nothing yet. I wish you the best! I will keep you in my prayers. If you would like to be added to my blog please let me know so that I can add your email address as I have placed my blog on private. My email is butterfly082402atyahoodotcom. God bless you! I would love to follow your journey as well as I would love for you to follow mine :)

  2. I apologize for writing so much lol

  3. I almost posted a comment when I came across your blog about two weeks ago. I think you are an amazing and strong woman. I truly do. I am a worry wart and worry about what if situations and yours is one that haunted me even before I was ever married or engaged. I think it might have absolutely torn me apart but I love how it has helped to make you stronger. That is nothing but inspiring to me.

    On another note, I didn't want to find out what we were having, but with Casey deploying and wanting to know the sex I went ahead and we found out since he was able to be there for the ultrasound. I think it took some of the excitement out of it for me. I think the next one I want to be a surprise. That way I can throw around names for nine whole months instead of having a sex and settling for sure on one name. I always hated people asking if I was excited for it to be a boy. THat got on my nerves. I just wanted once to say "no, I really wanted a girl so we're thinking of giving this baby to a happy couple that really wants a boy" *roll eyes* but I was a grumpy pregnant girl lol.

    I was only four weeks pregnant when I found out with Conner and I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I was afraid that since I spilled the beans so early I'd have to eat my words and it haunted me the whole pregnancy that something would go wrong. I know the next time for you will be scary, but try and be better than me and enjoy the blessing for everything that it's worth.


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