I just placed all my pregnancy bookmarks in a bookmark folder instead of just open in my bookmark tab. It was hard. But, I think it'll be easier opening up my bookmark thingie.

I should be writing a paper right now, not writing in my blog.

Feast went well today. I started cramping really badly at 3 pm, and began to get worried. I really wanted to perform tonight, and I was hoping my uterus would allow me. I took some ibuprofen and chilled on the couch. Viola! Cramps went away around 5.

Sometime between 5:45-7:30ish, I went to pee, and I heard this huuuuuuge "plop". I looked down, and there, in the toilet, was a golf ball size blood clot with lots of white mucusy stuff on it. I went (to a locker room full of girls mind you). "So YOU'RE my crampy problem!" they were confused.

Everyone has been so wonderful and so nice on campus. I must be asked 5,000 times a day how I'm feeling, and whereas normally this would bother me, it doesn't because I know that everyone actually MEANS it. To look into someones face and see pure compassion, to see them hurting for you, it makes all the difference. I'm not saying I relish that, or relish causing them pain, but its much better than flippant behavior or pity.

One girl even said that she had woken up from a nightmare crying, and the nightmare had been about my miscarriage. Funny, I feared *I* would be the one waking up because I looked at the baby... but I slept soundly. That could have had to do with the Tylenol 3 as well though, especially seeing as I am wide awake at 2:50 in the morning.

I still think that Carl and I will refrain from telling anyone next time until I'm 12 weeks. What was hard was fielding the "Congratulations!" and then having to say thanks, but no thanks.

I watched "Deliver Me" on the Discovery Health channel today (bad idea, I know, but I was to lazy to change the channel). One woman was on her 7th pregnancy, and it was her FIRST live birth. WOAH! I can't imagine that! I'd have gone insane!!! She had a beautiful baby boy named Jack, and her fertility specialist actually got to attend the birth, and cut the cord!

After yesterday, labor scares me to death... but you know what? I did it yesterday, I can do anything. Thats my new motto.