Monday, December 1, 2008


I have just come to the realization that I don't have to be perfect.

You would think that this would be a rather obvious revelation... but for me its not. For the past week I've been stressing out about grades, and papers, and assignments that need to be done to finish out the semester. But you know what? I don't have to be perfect. So what if I get all B's this semester? As long as I pass all my classes, I will be a happy individual. And, as I sit here, 5 minutes after midnight, working on a paper thats due tomorrow... I have realized that I deserve a break. I deserve to mourn. I deserve to grieve. I am miscarrying my child as I write this. Why in heavens name should I be worrying about a stupid paper? I've turned EVERYTHING else in this semester. Sure, I'm behind in an online class. But I am not perfect. I am not superwoman. I have emotions. I have feelings. I need to mourn. I need to rest. I need to survive.

This has been the worst emotional day so far. Excluding Tuesday afternoon, I've been surprisingly strong, and my breakdown Tuesday was only a few minutes long. Today however... actually just this evening... I know its because I'm tired, but it still sucks.

Pray that tomorrow is a better day! Pray that this is over soon!

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