Friday, February 11, 2011


This may be a controversial post. Maybe not. Who knows?

I don't believe in divorce. Not shocking by the fact that I proclaim to be a Christian. But I don't. Now, let me pause and say that I don't believe in divorce in most instances.

If someone is in an abusive relationship, or has been cheated on repeatedly and the other person will not change... then I believe in divorce. I don't think God made us to be miserable, and people DO change. Usually there is some life-altering event that causes them to do so, but they do change. And I think God generally wants us to be happy, and if we're in a miserable marriage, we aren't going to be happy.

Carl and I entered into this marriage with one key point in mind: Divorce is not an option. It's something we discussed heavily before marriage, and it's kind of a mantra we have. The best thing? I know that if we have some sort of fight (which really? We haven't yet) that if we need to walk away and cool off for a few minutes, I don't have to have that fear that he's walking away forever. Divorce isn't an option.

I think that a lot of the reason that divorce rates are so high in this country (and ESPECIALLY in Christian colleges) is that the people in the marriage don't get to know one another well enough. We all put on masks and facades, and when we do that, we never show our true selves to our significant others. It's depressing really. I was guilty of the same thing with Carl. The only difference was that usually when we broke up, we went back to being best friends. And the masks came off when we were friends.

A lot of Christian college people rush into marriage so that they can attend to their, uh, more carnal pleasures, without feeling guilty. And that's not right either. Yes, God blesses sex in marriage... but it doesn't mean you should get married so that those little joyrides you're taking won't make you feel so bad.

It just irks me that people take marriage so lightly anymore. Like it's a temporary relationship, always looking to the next person.

I have lots of friends who are divorced, and honestly? I don't judge them. I don't judge them because I wasn't in their marriage. I don't know what went on behind the closed doors. I don't want to offend any of my friends who read this. I really, really don't.

I think that people just don't think marriage through a lot of time, and I believe more people need to enter in with a "Divorce is not an option" attitude, and less of a "Where's husband #2?"


  1. My hubs and I have the same mantra in our marriage. Divorce is not an option, we're married for eternity. I also agree that Christian's sometimes marry for all the wrong reasons... mainly to have intimate relationships without feeling like they're sinning. I really do wish that before people got married they had to go through extensive marriage prep like me and my hubs did... just so they know what they're getting into.

  2. I don't believe in divorce either. I was one of those that entered into marriage without getting to know my spouse, and it's something we've both paid for and suffered from, but we've both learned a lot. We've discussed 'divorce' many times, but at the end of the day it's something we just can't bring ourselves to do. I, because I don't believe in it, and him, because he knows it won't solve the problem. Yes, we had our period of separation and tried to move on, but it didn't work. We know we have problems, but we've reached the point in our marriage where we're able to sit down and talk about our difference and then work towards a solution of resolving them and making our marriage stronger. I do however believe in divorce in the situations of abusive or continuous infidelity, those are things that God did not intend to happen in a marriage.


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